


but first we'll live

by jamesniall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Blood and Gore, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-15 00:05:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8034244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamesniall/pseuds/jamesniall
Summary: “Do you think we’ll make it?” Niall asks to Harry suddenly, breaking the bubble of silence they had created.Harry turns to look at him, slowly, his brows are furrowed and there’s a sheen layer of sweat glistening on his forehead and cheeks, it goes down all the way to his neck and chest. “’Course we will.” He replies, squeezing Niall’s hand tightly. “We only have two hours ahead of ourselves.”“Yeah,” Niall nods and squeezes back. Then, softer than before, he asks, “but do you think we’ll make it? After getting to London,” he swallows a lump in his throat, “in the long run, do you think we’ll find a way to fight against all of this?”“I don’t know for sure, Ni. But what I do know is that we’ll try, with everything we’ve got, to stay alive.”-Or, a zombie apocalypse fic.





	but first we'll live

**Author's Note:**

> this fic took over my life and it was eating me away for one year and a half until i found it in me to finish it ;-----;
> 
> credits go to "the walking dead" because that series is the entire reason this fic exists. I hope you guys enjoy this rollercoaster of a fic. i cannot express the effort i put into this, even tho im a bit rusty bc i literally abandoned every fic for almost 8 months 3
> 
> this wasn't beta'ed, and even tho i re-read it a hundred times, if you find any mistake, it's 100% my fault.
> 
> i want to give a very very big fat thank you to the people who supported me and this fic on tumblr and twitter during the past year, it's finished bc of all the love you sent my way and im incredibly thankful. :')
> 
> happy reading <3

They first hear the news when they’re in the middle of the Atlantic. The first attacks started in Italy and were slowly but surely spreading around Europe, along with a couple reports from Asia and South America.

They get told not to panic, apparently London is still safe so far and at the hotel they’re staying in they’re going to be safe.

It’s not as easy as don’t panic Niall thinks. There’s people dying, people returning from the death and attacking others who end up with the same fate. That’s not easy to process. Those people had lives, families, they could have been fans for all he knows, people are dying worldwide, with no way to get them back, at least so far. Niall wonders if there’s already a cure, if maybe someone has been working at it for a while, if maybe this was expected, though he wouldn’t have a clue on why. He hasn’t seen many zombie movies, so he doesn’t really know what to expect, but something tells him this isn’t as simple as other pandemics the world has had. He pictures everything that must be happening out there, people biting others, maybe their own family members, those people dying yet not truly dying anyway, all of them, loose in the streets, he shudders.

Harry takes his hand in his, then. Squeezes until the tips of Niall’s fingertips turn a weird shade of red. He’s looking down at their intertwined hands, some loose strands on his hair falling messily over his cheeks.

“We’re gonna be okay,” Niall says, trying to make it sound less like a question, more like a statement, as if he’s sure of it. “Dunno how, I don’t know how this works but, we’ll be,” he musters up a smile when Harry lifts his gaze to look at him, “love you.”

That makes Harry smile, the first genuine smile he’s had in his face since they got told the world is ending. “Love you too.”

-

 

“Captain speaking,” a deep voice coming from the speakers close to Niall’s seat is what wakes him up from a restless sleep, “it’s going to be impossible landing in Heathrow Airport,” the voice booms again, loud, and even though Niall wants to deny it to himself, he recognizes the tint of panic in it. He catches Harry’s eyes, then, to find them staring back at him, impossibly wide, cheeks pale. “Got a report from the base, there’s- there’s no airport anymore, it’s taken, we’re going to do an emergency landing, at a field close to London. I’ll be reporting if there’s any news.”

“It’s real, then.” Basil says from the seat behind Niall’s.

“What does he mean taken?”

But before Basil can even muster up a reply to Harry, the captain speaks again, this time without formalities, without trying to mask his worry. “We’re landing now, I’m- we’ve lost control of the plane, it’s-.” It gets cut off in that moment, the hostess that had been serving them through the entire flight comes out from the cabin as she tries, with shaking hands, to explain them the security measures.

“What is going on?” Basil asks, standing up to stop her.

“Sir, you can’t- we’re going to be landing soon, you need to sit down-“

“I think you need to sit down more than I do, miss.” Basil says, leading her to the seat across from Harry’s. “What is happening in there? Why aren’t we going to land in that field anymore?”

“The virus.” She says with a gasp, squeezing the arms of the seat tightly, “it’s in all of us, it’s already been spread. The captain- he has all the symptoms, he’s going to-“

The plane rushes forward so fast it makes Basil, who was kneeling in between the two rows of seats, fly headfirst against one of the small windows.

“Bas!” Niall calls out, fingers clawing at his security belt to get it off.

“Niall, don’t!” Harry says, grabbing Niall’s hands to prevent him from getting up.

“I’m alright,” Basil says, crawling to the closer seat next to him and buckling up the seat belt. He has a pretty nasty gash on his temple, which makes him wince when he touches it, only to find the red of blood on his fingertips.

“We have to stay in our seats until they manage to land.” The hostess, Niall remembers her name being something close to Claire, says, “We’ve already contacted the other plane, where your friends are, we’re landing close to them.”

“What is going on?” Niall stresses out, grasping Harry’s hands firmly in his, “You know something no one has told us. What is it?”

“There was a massive attack at the London airport, people- dead people, just, attacked they’re eating the living, who then turn and come back to life. Except- except they’re not alive.” She says, rubbing her arms and curling into herself, “There’s only a part of their brain that turns on again. No heartbeat, no memories, no cerebral activity other than the part of the brain that makes you walk. And eat. Nothing else.”

“How do you know all of this?” Harry asks softly, trying not to startle her any more than she already is.

“These are not the first cases.” She explains with a shake of her head, “the government new about this about a month ago, there were only a couple, not more than ten, in the first week. All members of a small community. One turned and, then the rest. They studied them, alerted people at the airports to watch out for the symptoms, to not let them in and start a pandemic, but that got out of hand easily enough.”

“When you said it already spread, what does that mean?” Niall presses, leaning closer into Harry’s embrace and trying to not let all of this overwhelm him.

“That report came about three days ago. They studied healthy people too, to catch any difference between the infected brain and the sane one, but, there were very few.” She closes her eyes tightly when they feel the plane start going down, faster than what they’re used to. “The virus was found in nine of the ten people they checked, only dormant, waiting for the right moment to act up, or in the worst case, to catch the virus, with a bite. Once it starts, it’s unstoppable.”

 

-

 

It happens too fast. After they land, Basil, Harry and Niall all grab their handbags and get out as fast as possible.

It’s when they’re running towards the plane where Liam and Louis were flying in, a couple meters away from theirs, when they hear the scream.

It’s Claire, running down the steps out of the plane, she has one of her hands wrapped tightly against a big black bag, the other is pressed against her neck, and she’s crying, harshly. That’s when Niall sees the blood seeping through her fingers.

“She’s bit.” Niall whispers, taking a couple steps backwards till he steps on Harry’s toes.

Liam and Louis come running at them at the same moment Basil goes to help her get something out the bag she got out. “What the fuck is going on?” Louis cries out, “no one wanted to tell us a thing, we’re completely clueless about all this shit and-“ He stops with a gasp, eyes widening in shock, Niall turns to look at him, watches as his red tinted cheeks from rage turns into white.

“Oh my god,” Liam whispers from behind him, grabbing both Louis and Niall from their upper arms, maybe to keep them from looking at the scene in front of them, maybe to keep himself upright, Niall doesn’t really now.

Before he can lift his gaze to face what’s going on, Harry grabs him and nuzzles Niall’s face against his shoulder. “Don’t look,” his voice is strained, raspy and breathy against Niall’s ear. And Niall doesn’t mean to. Really. But one second he has his eyes tightly shut as Harry advised him to do, the next, for a brief second, he opens them, just in time to catch the sight of Claire bowed on the ground, the whole front of her once white, pristine shirt now drenched in red. Basil is in front of her, the bag she carried out of the plane placed on one of his shoulders and in his right hand, he has a gun. And, fuck, he’s pointing at Claire. At Claire’s head.

Niall closes his eyes again the moment the shoot echoes through the entire forest.

 

-

 

He’s lost count of how many hours they’ve been walking through a clear path between the heavy trees, the sun is still up, it’s all he knows, it’s shining bright against their sweaty bodies, in the middle of a cloudless sky.

When Niall had thought about coming back to London just in time for the summer, he had imagined a huge get together in his garden, with his cousins, and the LIC, and his mates from back home, maybe he could have convinced his Da to leave work for the weekend so he could join them, with the BBQ out and a bunch of beer bottles spread around the house. He imagined loud music, his drunk friends throwing crazy shapes and spilling their drinks on every surface. And laughter, he imagined so much laughter, recalling tour shenanigans with his guitar against his knee and Harry pressed against his other side.

He imagined anything. Everything.

Except this.

He’s never quite imagined this. Not even after Louis made them all watch the Zombieland movie three times in a week.

It’s all so different.

He’s sweaty, tired and sore, for all the wrong reasons. Everything around them is eerily quiet, just the rustling of leaves between their feet echoing through the endless trees. The only think he’s drank in the past couple of hours is a couple of sips of the water bottle Harry had in his bag, even though it has gone all warm.

It’s stifling. Unsettling. Not the fact that the world has gone to shit rather than the way how it happened. It’s happening.

The very few times he ever thought about the end of the world he always thought it would be something so destructive it would end them in the blink of an eye. Bam, and everything’s over.

But never like this. This scenario never even passed his head.

They don’t know where they’re going, not exactly. Basil had found a map neatly folded in the bag he got from Claire, along with a first aid kit, and an emergency kit, with lights and whistles and canned food. And guns. Two hand knives and three guns. Basil had one, Mark and Alberto the other two. Liam and Harry had both a huge machete-looking knife that Basil had found in the emergency kit of each plane, leaving the two smaller knives to Louis and Niall.

Basil had mapped out a way to get to London in around six hours by feet.

And that’s all they had figured out.

They have a destination, Niall thinks, but they don’t know where they’re going with all of this. What will they do when they get there? What will they find? Will they even survive the day? The weight of at least 3 billion questions swimming around his head is exhausting.

“Do you think we’ll make it?” Niall asks to Harry suddenly, breaking the bubble of silence they had created.

Harry turns to look at him, slowly, his brows are furrowed and there’s a sheen layer of sweat glistening on his forehead and cheeks, it goes down all the way to his neck and chest. “’Course we will.” He replies, squeezing Niall’s hand tightly. “We only have two hours ahead of ourselves.”

“Yeah,” Niall nods and squeezes back. Then, softer than before, he asks, “but do you think we’ll make it? After getting to London,” he swallows a lump in his throat, “in the long run, do you think we’ll find a way to fight against all of this?”

“I don’t know for sure, Ni. But what I do know is that we’ll try, with everything we’ve got, to stay alive.”

 

-

 

“Why did you do it?” Niall whispers to Basil later that day, when they are resting in a clear patch of forest, only one hour away from London, if Mark’s guessing was right. “After we landed, with- with Claire, what happened, Bas?”

“She got bit.” Basil starts, “the captain had turned, along with the other two men in the cabin, and she got bit when she tried to get that emergency bag from there. She told me, the only way to stay alive is killing those-- those things. Straight through their head. And once you’re bit the process is fast and relentless.” He says, swallowing harshly, “She asked me to do it. She had her family waiting for her back at the airport, before everything went to shit. Said she had nothing to fight for.” Niall can feel him shuddering against the hand he placed on his back, “She said she’d rather die as herself, than die and come back as a killer.”

Niall couldn’t muster up any words after that, he just hugged Basil tightly, rubbing his back when he felt the man shiver in his arms.

 

-

 

Getting to London is the worst thing they could ever think of.

It dawns on them slowly. In the outskirts of the city they find abandoned cars, houses with wide open doors with bloody doorknobs and deserted streets. Is when they start moving forward, closer and closer to the heart of the city that they start finding undead people roaming around. The closer they get, the worst it gets, the more they find.

The things are slow, flaggy limbs, bloody clothes and dragging feet across the pavement, they walk around uselessly. Until something gets their attention. Something like Liam dropping a can of soda to the ground and muttering a gasped _fucking shit_. That’s when the grumbling starts, a groaning sound made by one makes the other react and soon there’s five walkers sloppily moving towards the sound.

Mark makes a shushing sign with his fingers, getting them to duck behind one of the cars. He grabs the can before he ducks too, and throws it in the opposite direction of where they are hiding.

The rumbling stops, only to start up again louder a second after, the sound of shuffling feet getting further from them with every minute that slowly passes.

That one was easy.

 

-

 

They keep on walking. Louis tries to joke as they go, jokes falling flat after a couple of hours of no supplies, empty water bottles and achy feet.

Mark, Al and Bas try to help out, looking out for supplies wherever they see fit enough, they find a small house after hours of walking without any direction. It’s deserted, two of the main windows on the living room are broken, red staining the bits that are still standing. They don’t put much thought into it and instead decide that after hours of nothing, this is their best shot.

“I’m going with you, lads.” Louis announces after the three men say they’ll go by themselves.

As he expected, Al protests. “You fucking won’t.” he starts; with that tone of voice he uses after Louis’ drank one too many. The one he uses when a crazy idea hits him and tries to persuade Alberto into it. “We can defend ourselves just fine. If you want to do something? Keep watch with the other three out here. Keep them out of the door if any noise attracts them.”

“We’ll try not to cause a ruckus in there,” Mark intervenes. “But just in case, keep an eye out in here. That’ll keep us safer than looking after your noisy ass in there.”

Louis huffs at that. “I can also defend myself just fine.” He tries. But the look he receives from the three of them and the unexpected laugh Niall lets out decide that he’s definitely staying outside. “All fucking right. I’ll stay. But yell if you need back up, Payno and I will be there with knives.”

“Right.” Alberto nods. “Just behave. This is no tour shenanigans, and I know you four know the magnitude of the hell hole this world is right now. Don’t make it any harder for any of us.”

“Noted.” Liam says. Grabbing Louis’ shoulder and leaning against him. “We won’t be any trouble, we’re all here to help each other out and keep all of us alive.”

None of them say anything else, there’s just a silent nod from all of them as Mark opens the door and gets in slowly. After him goes Alberto, and right behind goes Basil. Louis feels a lump the side of a rock stuck in his throat as they disappear from their sight.

 

-

 

It’s a bang first. Like the sound something heavy does when it hits against something heavier.

Then a scream.

When a gunshot leaves them all in their feet, huddled together by the door, they decide it’s time for Louis’ promised back up.

They walk into the house slowly, instinctively making a sort of circle that ends up more like a square, standing shoulder to shoulder with their backs to each other, a protecting huddle that makes them feel safer in a situation that has them all shaking in their feet.

There are yells coming from what seem to be the kitchen, mostly Alberto and Basil and the pounding of cabinets being open and closed harshly.

When Basil shouts out a “Try to stop the blood flow, Mark, come on. Can’t fucking lose you.” Niall breaks formation and runs towards them. Louis mutters a colorful swear under his breath as Niall runs, Harry right behind him.

They find them in the kitchen, trying to find something to help Mark stop the deep gash on his forearm. It looks more like a scratch rather than a bite. But the amount of blood and the sickly pale pallor of his skin tells them it’s as serious as it looks.

“We might have a chance if we can cut your arm off.” Basil says. And it’s a simultaneous reaction of Mark retching, Niall gasping and Alberto falling to his knees.

“We’ve been looking for something big and sharp enough to do so without any luck! How do you expect we do that?!” Alberto yells. Pounding the floor with a closed and bloody fist. “Just keep pressing in there, Mark. You’re gonna be fine.”

“I won’t” Mark gasps out, he’s gritting his teeth together, as if he’s trying to bite back a scream.

“You fucking will.” Niall says, quietly but firmly enough they all turn to look at him. “You’re strong, you can fight this. We’ll patch you up and get you back on your feet. You’re not leaving us.” He says, voice shaking and eyes filling up with tears. “We won’t let you.”

“Nialler, don’t.” Mark says, slowly letting go of the towel he had pressing to his wound, Louis doesn’t know if it’s conscious or if he’s feeling just as weak as he looks. “They got me. Those things,” he starts but he doesn’t finish, voice catching up in his throat, letting a quiet groan of pain instead

“You can’t turn!” Liam says from behind Louis, stepping into his space and kneeling in front of Mark to press harder against the wound. “There has to be exceptions. Right? There has to be.” He’s looking at Basil, then at Louis. But they have nothing to say. Nothing to reassure him.

“We don’t know the fucking guidelines of this fucking apocalypse.” Niall says, with so much venom in his voice Louis feels Niall’s rage in his bones. “It was a scratch, right? That’s not a bite. What if that’s not as harmful? What if he just needs- He just-” He stops, looking helplessly up at all of them. “We’re not letting you fucking die.” He says, weak conviction in his voice. He helps Liam press against the wound when Mark lets go completely and looks away when Mark flinches in pain.

Louis notices Harry step behind him, pressing both hands on Niall’s shoulders. It seems to calm him down a notch.

“This isn’t just going away,” Mark says, sounding like just talking is hurting him deeply. “I can feel it. It’s-- It’s all over. I feel like it’s burning me inside out. Denial, or hope, won’t change that. I’m dying. And I don’t want you all to witness it.”

The room falls silent after that. The helplessness Louis’ felt since they got into the house making him deflate. He looks up to find Alberto still on his knees, looking up at Mark with what Louis thinks it’s guilt in his eyes. Bas is standing quietly behind Harry, looking at the entire heart-breaking scene with hooded and empty eyes. Liam and Niall are still tending Mark’s arm, desperate and shaking fingers pressing and changing towels when the last one it’s a too dark red. Harry seems to be as frozen as Louis must look right now. Hands still pressed to Niall’s shoulders and for a moment Louis wonders if it’s for Niall’s sake only or for both of theirs.

“We’ll take you to one of the rooms.” Alberto finally says. “We’ll try to keep you as comfortable as we can. We aren’t leaving you here in a dirty kitchen floor, you deserve better than that.”

Mark huffs out a weak laugh at that. “Have it your way, then. So long as you stop blaming yourself.” Mark says, lifting his eyes to find Alberto’s. “This was all me. I should have seen the damn thing under the stairs. I should have been more careful. If you wanna blame anyone, or anything, blame the little fucker that did this. Not you.”

Alberto looks back at him with nothing but deep sadness and despair in the same two eyes that Louis is so used to seeing lightened up with mischief. It breaks his heart all over again.

 

-

 

They end up staying the night there, securing doors and putting two huge tables and a closet on the broken windows to prevent anything from getting in easily. One of them is always keeping an eye outside through one of the upstairs windows.

They take Mark to one of the downstairs bedrooms, they tie him up to the bedposts, as he requested, and try to keep him comfortable and warm. He’s running a bad fever even though he claims he’s freezing. Muscles spasming, making him shake and shudder uncontrollably. They can do nothing more than prop him up in pillows and smother him in thick blankets until he seems to fall in a fitful sleep.

Niall doesn’t want to leave him alone. He hadn’t cried, not like Liam had when he’d seen Mark starting to fall asleep and decided to leave the room to keep watch upstairs, Niall’s eyes had been teary since they were in the kitchen, but when Basil announces it’s better if they go rest and lock him in there he can’t stop his tears from spilling over. It lasts less than five minutes, Louis thinks, but he isn’t sure if it’s because it was enough or if it was whatever Basil whispered in his ear as Harry held him close in his arms.

When it’s close to day out and Liam announces there’s only one walker roaming around the block, they decide to leave. They’ve had about 2 to 3 hours of sleep each, but when they start to hear the grumbles and moans coming from downstairs, they know.

Basil suggests letting Mark out. Ending it properly. But Harry points out none of them would be able to point a gun to Mark, even to an undead Mark, and pull the trigger without putting all of them in danger.

So they leave, a bit scared, a bit teary, very traumatized. Full to the brim with both anger and grief, and take back on the road they were heading the day before.

When a silent and eerie half an hour has passed Liam curiously asks, “How long did it take for him to turn? Did anyone check?” His eyes are wide, Louis sees when he looks up at him in surprise, like even Liam is surprised he asked that. “Not to be morbid or completely insensitive, just, I think this is something we should care about now.”

Basil nods at him, and solemnly answers, “it took him 3 hours.”

Louis realizes he wasn’t the only one counting.

 

-

 

After another week of walking goes by without much of anything, Basil suggests setting themselves a goal. He gets out a tore up and slightly damp map he’d found the night before and sets it on the floor before kneeling, all of them promptly do the same. “We’re right here now,” he starts, pointing finger against the street they currently are going through. “If we think of each of our houses, Niall and Harry’s, are out of the question.”

“They aren’t even in the map,” Louis snickers beside him.

“The map it’s missing like a proper quarter of what’s supposed to be, tosser.” Niall says, elbowing Louis in the side, sounding mildly offended despite the soft smile hinting at his lips. Liam finds himself smiling at them. Seeing anything other than frowns and hopeless faces manages to lift his spirits despite the shitty situation.

“Right,” Basil continues, “Liam’s is right here, but it’s in the other side of where we currently are, same as Alberto’s.”

“So our only chances are either yours or Louis’” Harry concludes. “Though, distance wise, yours is way closer than Louis’”

“Yeah, and we’d have to go through what used to be a busy part of London, bigger chance of running into trouble. So I’d say we go to Basil’s camp in there until we run out of food and then keep going.” Louis says in a more rushed voice than usual. He’s also avoiding looking at any of them, Liam notices. And with a pang he thinks it’s very likely Louis doesn’t want to go back to his house. Memories. Pictures. A place that holds too much after you’ve lost so much. Liam is suddenly glad they aren’t going to his place either.

“If we all agree, we can search somewhere to crash for the night and start in that direction in the morning.” Basil states, and they all nod in agreement.

 

-

 

The next morning is a rainy one. A constant drizzle that leaves them all wet and has Harry sneezing every ten minutes. They had found small blankets in the last house they were in, and that’s the only protection they have against the weather.

“Out of all the places we could be during a zombie apocalypse, it had to be London, hadn’t it?” Louis says, taking off the blanket when he realizes he’s not getting any drier. “Could have stayed in LA, at least there we would have the sun instead of this.”

“We’d also need more water,” Harry says, voice sounding raspy even to his own ears. “More risk of dehydration. Also aren’t there more people in LA than in London?”

“Shut your facts, Harold.” Louis shakes his head at him, a playful frown on his face that makes Liam laugh and Harry feel a bit more settled. He’s used to banter, to Louis’ bad jokes and Liam’s inevitable laughter. Even Niall giggles softly where he’s pressed to his side. “At least we wouldn’t have you sick if we were somewhere warmer.”

“I’m not sick.”

“Getting at it.” Niall says, bumping his shoulder to Harry’s with unchecked concern in his eyes. “If we find a pharmacy somewhere we should get you a bunch of vitamins.”

Louis looks like he’s about to let out another one of his witty comments when Basil stops and makes Liam crash into his back.

They all look up to find a grocery store, one of the big ones. One of the windows, a small one, it’s broken, but the rest of the place seems to be untouched. The glass automatic doors seem to be intact. And they know they are locked when a walker stumbles by it and it doesn’t open.

“You think we can get in there?” Liam asks. Looking around to check what are their chances.

“We can get in there, but we don’t know if there’s any other door, a back entrance or something. The place could be packed inside with a bunch of rotting fuckers for all we know. It’s dangerous.”

“But it’s also our only chance.” Alberto says. “We are relying on one bottle of water that it’s already halfway empty. We have 2 cans of tuna that we said would be for tonight’s dinner, and the couple of apples we found yesterday. We have nothing else.” He stops to get his gun out of his pocket. “I have 3 bullets left. Bas you probably have 5. We have the two machetes from the plane and the small pocket knives, I think we can defend ourselves.

“We need a bunch of things we may find there. What are the chances of finding another store, as big as this one, without it being a risk?”

No one answers him, but they all know the answer is none. There’s no guarantee they’ll be safe anywhere they’ll go.

“We go in,” Basil says, and he looks just about the same as when he used to go to places with Harry and Niall and he had to think of a way to get them to leave safe and sound when the place got packed with fans. He’s used to being aware of other ways out. “We go in and we don’t let go of each other, I’ll go in front, Alberto in the back. The four of you, back to back, in the middle. There’s no other way to do this. Once we check if the place is safe enough we can separate to search for things faster, but only if it’s safe enough.”

“Each one of us can kill two.” Alberto says. Harry shivers hard at that. Hand reaching out to touch the base of the machete Basil gave him back by the airplane. “The moment we see there are double of fuckers than there is of us, we get out.”

“We’re not firing any gun unless our back is against a wall.” Basil says just before he takes the first step towards the broken window of the store.

 

-

 

 

The first thing they see is the small cafeteria close to the entrance of the shop and the fast food restaurant by the side. Considering they were pretty public places they have a bunch of walkers roaming around inside.

There’s food also, but the risk of a bite is bigger than their own hunger.

“Whoever closed the entrance door also locked all these fuckers inside there.” Alberto says when he sees the door that connects the restaurants to the rest of the store is also locked.

They walk around the entire first floor of the store to find it empty of threats. They find corpses, and half cut bodies of walkers that try to reach out but they either lack their legs or their arms.

“Think it seems alright enough, doesn’t it?” Louis says, “At least down here. Liam and I can start collecting things here. We saw the bags and purses section back there so we can take a couple and fill them up with food.”

“I’m staying with you.” Alberto says. “These fuckers can’t climb up stairs, if down here is safe the second level must be too.”

“So we go with you to the second level?” Harry asks, uneasiness spreading all through his belly and making him feel queasy, Niall notices, of course he does, and asks Basil, “Do we even need to go up there? All the food is down here.”

“The home and technology section is in there. We need lanterns, and if you lads find phone chargers to get back to life your phones that could be useful too. There must be knives in the kitchen section too.”

So upstairs they go.

They find two phone chargers, even though they have no idea if they’ll find somewhere with electricity to plug them in. The stock up their knives collection, and Harry finds a couple of badass tools that look like they can bang someone’s head in. It’s when they’re about to go down the stairs they hear the moaning.

It’s coming from somewhere close, but they can’t see the thing wherever it is.

A couple of tense and terrifying seconds later Niall soundlessly points to the back of the store.

“Staff room” it says. And the door it’s halfway open.

“What are you doing?” Harry hisses when Basil starts getting close to the thing. It hasn’t noticed them, but trying to kill it seems much riskier than letting it “alive”.

“They can’t go up the stairs but they can fall down them.” Niall says. “It’s better if it’s gone.”

They both look up to see Basil hit the thing’s head with the back of his gun. The _crunch_ sound it makes seems to echo in the entire store. It falls to a heap in the ground, but Bas is not taking any chances, it seems, as he steps on top of the head and his shoe comes off dripping of a dark thick blood.

Louis, Liam and Alberto come rushing up the stairs only to find a shaking, pale Niall, a retching Harry and Basil walking back to them with a bloody shoe that squeaks against the white tiles of the floor.

They don’t even bother asking.

 

-

 

By the time an hour has passed they have two bags each, full to the brim with cans of food and bottles of water, batteries, lamps, lighters, knives, even though they are kitchen ones, and a bunch of other stuff. Louis even tosses lube and a pack of condoms to Harry and Niall and the best Niall can do is snort at him, before he pushes them to the pocket of his jeans with a deep blush in his cheeks.

Louis looks way too smug at all of it.

 

-

 

They end up spending the night there, albeit fairly risky, the day turns dark sooner than expected and there’s no other place they might find to spend the night. Basil suggests that the best idea is to sleep close to the broken window they used to get in, in case the “staff room” they found in the second floor becomes a problem.

They spend somewhat a good night.

One of them always keeping watch as the other rest and try to sleep. But despite the cold of the riskiness of the entire situation, it’s the first time they go to sleep with their stomachs full and with pillows and blankets enough for all of them.

 

It’s the day after that problems catch up to them.  It wakes them up at 8 in the morning. At least that’s what the store’s small clock tells them.

At first they think it must be outside. And Liam, who’s keeping watch at the moment, looks confused as best. With a big frown taking up all of his face as he moves his head side to side trying to spot where all the snarls and grunts are coming from.

“There’s nothing outside. The street is deserted.” He says, turning to look at them with a frantic edge in his voice. “They are either inside or somewhere really really close that we aren’t seeing right now.”

“The staff room.” Niall calls out, turning to look at Basil. “The one you killed yesterday seemed to come from the back of the store where the entire administrative part of the store is. You killed him, but we didn’t check the door afterwards.”

“It was halfway open.” Harry whispers shakily. Voice gone croaky either with sleep, fear or sickness. He thinks it might be a mix of the three.

“We need to go up there and check. If it’s more than a handful we need to le-” Alberto doesn’t get to finish his sentence when a body falls through the railing of the second floor and drops a couple of feet away from them. It leaves them all silent and paralyzed in fear, holding each other close as their backs press against the wall.

“They are coming down the stairs,” Basil whispers, and they all turn to look at the stairwell, where 5 walkers are shuffling around, trying to get down to where they are. The thud of feet moving and dragging on the floor tells them there’s more wandering around.

“Anyone check if there’s any other exit?” Liam asks, he’s looking out of the broken window pane again, but more than confused now he just looks terrified.

“Are there more out there?”

“A bit far away. But yes, there’s about eight coming down the street and if those fuckers upstairs keep making noise, which they will, those eight will come over for a visit. No doubt.”

“They don’t look very friendly.” Louis says, trying to lighten to mood but failing when the shaking of his voice gives away how scared he is.

“I saw a back door about two sections over, but we have to move fast because as soon as those rottens come down here there’s only so little we can do to stop them.”

Basil reaches out to get the knives and a bat out of a sports bag he’d thrown over his shoulder and hands the bat to Niall and the knife to Harry. You four go behind me. Al goes in the back; we move fast but silent. Anything gets close enough to bite, you either run or hit it straight in the head. One second of hesitation can cost us a life and I’m not willing to lose any of you today.”

Niall makes a choked up noise in the back of his throat. He’s shaky on his feet and Harry wants to reach out and calm him down, but they don’t have the time for anything other than get the hell out of the store.

“Nialler.” Basil says, taking Niall’s hand in both of his, making Niall set his eyes on him instead of in the gurgling rotten that’s lying on the floor where it fell. He’s done this many times before, Harry realizes. Not the zombie killing, not being armed with a bunch of knives and a gun. But he’s protected Niall many times before. Times when Harry wasn’t even there. When everything got too much, too close, for Niall and he had to get him through that. He looks up at Basil with something that is close to admiration when Niall takes a deep breath, then another. And when Basil lets go of his hands Harry doesn’t see them as shaky as before. “You only look forward. Not back. And if it gets too much you only look at me and I get you out.”

It’s clearly not as easy as when they’d deal with fans. But it settles Niall even more, and for that, Harry’s thankful.

The others seem to have all of their bags on their shoulders and they look ready to move when Harry turns to look back at them. Harry takes his two bags left at his feet and they begin to move forward.

The get to the door at the same time two of the walkers reach the bottom of the stairs and Basil grabs the machete and breaks the lock down, the noise makes those two groan louder, moving faster but not less clumsily. He opens the door wildly, ready to make a run for it but he takes back three steps as they spot there are about six of them out there, scattered around in the alley that the door leads to. They all start groaning, walking slowly but surely closer to them, Alberto steps forward and closes the door shut again.

“What do we do now?” Louis asks. taking a knife in his hands and gripping it tightly, ready to attack.

“Can we run and shot them all down as we go?” Liam proposes, even though he seems to know the obvious answer to that is no.

Basil replies either way. “We have eight bullets left. There’s two getting close, five going down the stairs and six outside, even if we had eight perfect shots it’s too risky.”

Alberto turns around to where the other two are stumbling closer and reaches out to grab a freezer to push it towards them. It falls two steps before them, and when they reach it they fall awkwardly. Arms still reaching out towards their group, their hands open and close, trying to reach anything, and their jaws are always moving, as if they’re constantly biting, constantly letting out awful grunt-like sounds.

“That’ll slow them down. But not much, as soon as more come down they’ll just step over this two and come through.” Alberto says, brushing off all of their stares.

“The only way out is through here. Six of them are just about to reach the door and I had to break it so it’s not fully closed.” Basil says, taking their attention back to the task at hand. “We have to kill them all.” He explains and even though he’s the voice of reason right now, Harry can see him pale a little before he composes himself, setting his shoulders and chin, unlocking his gun and stepping beside Niall in a protective stance that makes Harry feel safe even though it’s not him on the receiving end of that protection.

He startles out of his thoughts when the bang of the walkers outside hits the door they’re all leaning against. Which causes the ones inside the shop to regroup and head in their direction.

Perfect.

“The only way to kill them without risking it too much would be to open the door slowly. Let one in. Smash its head through and close. And repeat.” Basil says, “if the other fuckers start getting close we open it completely and together we kill the remaining ones. Then we run.”

“No screams. Watch out for each other. Always have your arm ready to hit. Don’t shoot unless your back’s against a wall.” Al adds, speaking lowly but clear through the groans of the fuckers outside. “Are we ready?”

“Might as well be.” Louis mutters.

Basil and Al kill the first two easily enough. Fast enough that the walker only takes one step before a knife is stuck to its forehead and falls in a heap on top of the last one.

There are just two remaining outside when three walkers make their way from the inside and get so close to Al he screams and shoots, the force of the rotten making Al’s back fall against the door. He shoots once. It goes through the thing’s chest. Twice. It goes through its neck, and the thing falls to the ground. Dirty hands still grasping at Al’s legs. The third one doesn’t even hit close.

By the time Basil reloads his gun and shoots the thing through its head, Al is bleeding profusely through his left leg and slumping against the door.

Niall runs to hold the door closed when it opens a fraction and a couple of rotten fingers peek out. He closes it with such force the fingers crack and fall in a broken heap to the floor. He fights hard the urge to throw up.

Louis, who’s closest to him, helps him with the door as Basil takes off his jacket and wraps it tightly around Al’s thigh. Harry and Liam kill the other two that were roaming inside, the freezer in the middle of their way making it easier to keep them from biting or scratching into their arms.

“Go on,” Al pants out harshly, “get out of here. Open the door, they’ll get distracted by me and you’ll be able to get away.” He continues. Grabbing Basil’s shoulders roughly and getting him off his leg. “Get out! You need to leave. I’m dead already.”

“We won’t leave you here to be eaten by those- fucking garbage corpses!” Louis shouts, grabbing his elbow and trying to get him up and off the floor. “You’re coming the fuck with us, or so fucking help me, Alberto, I’m not leaving you behind.”

“We can find someplace. We could- we can cut it off and stop the infection from spreading. You don’t have to die here. Not like this.” Harry tries. Feeling tears sprung to his eyes and he squeezes them tightly. Not time for this.

“Al, come the fuck on-” Louis says again, desperation clear in his voice.

“I’ll just slow you guys down. You can get out before more of them come closer. More probably heard the gunshots. You need to get somewhere safe, you don’t need me, you’ll make it just fine. Just get the fuck out before I fucking turn and bite you all in the arse.” He goes for a joke but he ends up grimacing as the pain shoots up his leg. “It’s too late for me, but you have a chance still, get the fuck out.”

And so they do. They stand behind the door as Basil opens it, keeping them out of the rotten’s sight, and surely enough the walkers get in and immediately fall down to Alberto’s level. Basil urges them to run before they take the first bite.

They run until Alberto’s screams are only a faint echo in the streets. Until they feel they’re about to collapse more because of heartbreak than because of exhaustion. They make it five streets away from the market when Niall can’t hold it in anymore and pukes harshly in the middle of the street and he falls on his knees before Harry can steady him.

 

-

 

They walk. And walk.

For the next three weeks all they do is walk. They are lucky enough to find a safe enough place to crash for the night, at least they do during half of the nights that have passed since they lost Al.

Louis has been more quiet since it happened. He was always closer to Alberto than the rest of them. And he’s been withdrawing into himself the more days pass over them like a blur.

They managed to find a car a week ago, where they slept in the entire week, it helped them rest, because not enough food and too much walking was taking a toll on all of them. Niall’s knees almost collapsed with relief when he sat down in something soft instead of the unforgiving cold and dirty floor of the past weeks.

They ran out of gas halfway through their way to Bas' house. He says he knows the area well enough to be at least 90% sure there’s a gas station about six streets away and tells them to stay in the car while he checks. He was convinced it seemed safe enough to go by himself, says he’s got more experience to fight them off when he inevitably runs into one or two, but Niall is leaning more towards the idea that the pure look of exhaustion in all of their faces pained him too much to make one of them go with him.

Louis offered to stay because someone had to watch out for the car and their belongings, because they’ve found more guns, ammo, clothes and food and they can’t afford to lose it all. So Bas probably took pity on them all and said that if Louis would watch the car Liam would watch out for the food and Harry for the ammo and Niall would keep them all in check.

Niall is so grateful for having him there. He’s always so steady. So assertive and calming, always ready to protect them all to death. Even though they’ve told him he’s their friend over their bodyguard Niall knows it’s in Bas’ nature to be protective. And Niall admires and adores him all the more for it.

He’s been gone for at least half an hour now, when Liam proposes they look around. For empty houses and abandoned cars. Anything they find is useful and Niall knows he also needs to get his mind on something. Staying still inside a car as the world continues on ending around you is overwhelming. And Liam’s way of coping is keeping himself busy, so they agree.

 

-

 

Liam doesn’t know how it happens, how it starts. One minute they’re filling up their new guns, checking them and pocketing them in their pants and bags. The next one, there’s a herd, a big one, coming their way.

They’re in a way too exposed area, just trees and dirt and rocks around them. There’s no way to hide, no place to go under, or go up.

The zombies are slow, messily making their way through the deserted park and making all kind of gruesome noises. So far, only Liam has noticed, and he has no clue how.

“Lou,” he tries, moving slowly in a try to not draw attention to the first ones in the herd, which are a good couple of steps ahead of the rest. “Louis, for fuck’s sake.”

“What?” Louis tries, turning around too fast for Liam’s liking. He freezes, though, eyes widening and mouth dropping open in shock as he takes in the sight not so far from them. “Fucking motherfuckers.”

“Louis, what do we do, there’s no place to-“

“Holy fucking shit.”

“Louis, snap out of it!”

“We have to leave. Fuck, Liam, get Harry and Niall, we have to get the hell away from here.” He says, picking up the last two guns at his feet and moving backwards towards his backpack.

Liam runs to where Harry and Niall had been sitting, one with one gun each and pointing to somewhere far away in the horizon, they have their backs to the herd. And Liam’s stomach hits the ground when the thought of them being attacked like this, so unaware, so at peace. They thought this part of town was deserted from those things, there were all so calm, it could have been just one of them, coming at Harry or Niall while they’re distracted and that could have ended it all.

Louis’ rapid footsteps get him out of it, and he runs the last couple of feet to them, “Haz, Nialler, get the fuck up and run, don’t look back.”

They look up at him in shock, craning their necks to see what the panic is about and Niall is back on his feet in less than a second, his skin paling and hands curling tightly around his gun. None of them have ever used a gun, not when is not for paintball, not when they’re under pressure, not when it’s life or death.

Harry grabs Niall’s free hand and they run, Liam running fast behind with Louis by his side, they run, and for the first time, the as if their lives depended on it is very much literal.

It’s about ten or so minutes later when they start slowing down. They haven’t found water in two days, not a good amount, not in the amount they need, and the food they’ve got is crappy and not fulfilling, so it’s no surprise they’re winded when they stop, Harry has to lower himself to floor and breathe with his head against his knees as Niall rubs circles in his back, as if he’s in a better condition himself.

“I think we out ran them, didn’t we?” Louis asks. Smiling a relieved smile at them. “Think we did, they’re slow as shit.”

Liam nods, looking around wearily, “yeah, we could be far from the herd but, where the fuck are we?”

They seem to be more into the down than closer to the park where they left the car now. There’s a couple houses, a car, dumpsters, it all looks dead, but it looks better than being at the open as they were at the park. There’s places to hide, places to climb if they have to.

“Should we go check the car?” Niall asks, he’s flushed all the way to his neck, sweat making its way from his forehead and down his neck and chest, he’s still panting but he looks more relieved now that Harry’s standing beside him. “Maybe it works, maybe there’s food, I don’t know,” he winces, “I’m starving.”

“We all are, Nialler.” Louis says, “but let’s not get too far, we have no clue who or what is around. Stay alert and stay close. Also, keep a gun at hand, in case things go sour.”

“We have never used one, what is the poi-“

Liam is cut short by a scream. Not any scream, not one they’ll forget anytime soon.

Harry’s screaming, a zombie trying to scratch and bite at his exposed skin, the only thing keeping it somewhat far is Harry’s bag. Harry’s very big bag which is full of shit as Niall teased him this morning before leaving the car.

“Fucking-“ Louis tries to get it off, Liam reaching out to help him, but Harry falls to the ground and the zombie goes down with him.

Niall gets his gun out in no time, gets the lock off and his fingers find the trigger easily, but he can’t just shoot. Harry is trashing in the ground trying to get the bag off and crawl away and the zombie is too close and Louis has his knife out but despite the one, two, three times he sinks it in the thing’s stomach, it doesn’t stop. If he shoots he might hit one of them, could kill his friends and his heart is pounding too fast to think of another way out-

There’s a shoot, then, it rings in Niall’s ears even minutes after he first heard it, he has a fleeting moment of sheer and raw panic, did I shoot? He asks himself, thinking that maybe the shaking of his hands was enough to pull the trigger and shoot.

But he didn’t.

“Zayn?” Louis asks from beside him. His tone disbelieving.

Zayn is standing just a few feet from them, looking as worn and battered as how they probably look too, he has a gun in his hands and a look of pure surprise in his face. From seeing them all together again or from having killed that zombie without giving even a scratch to Harry, Niall doesn’t know.

He only registers he’s hugging Zayn until he feels a pair of arms snaking around his middle, bringing him closer to his chest, “you saved them,” he mutters to Zayn’s skin, “you fucking twat, how are you even here, oh my god,” he cries, “thank you.”

He sniffles hard and pulls away, kissing Zayn in his cheek before bending down to Harry’s level. His hands shake when they close around Harry’s. He’s absolutely fine, thank god, his cheeks are flushed and he’s panting heavily but he’s not hurt, not bitten, not dead.

Not undead either.

“I’m fine,” Harry assures him when Niall starts crying a bit harder “Love, look at me, I’m just fine, it was just a huge scare, we’re okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Niall replies instead, “I had the gun in my hands but I- I couldn’t do it, it was too much, I thought I would hurt you more if I shoot you but not shooting could have killed you too, Harry, I’m so sorry.”

“Niall, what, no, babe don’t be sorry, not at all, god,” Harry shakes his head frantically at him, “you didn’t do anything wrong, and what you didn’t do wasn’t wrong neither. Listen to me, look at me, I’m fine, it’s okay, yeah?”

“It’s still not okay,” Niall shakes his head, wraps his own hands around Harry’s, which are against cheeks, “I’m sorry. I love you so much.”

“Love you back, Ni.” Harry replies, a fond-concerned smile makes its way through his face before he kisses Niall softly.

“Guys,” Zayn’s voice breaks through the moment again, feeling somehow as surprising as the first time. They haven’t seen him in so long. “The shooting definitely attracted more of them, they must be close by now so we better keep going.”

“And where do you suggest we go?” Louis asks. Voice a mix of surprise and anger and relief all at once.

“We had a small camping place a couple minutes from here, well it was just a car where we’ve been sleeping, but the herd seems to come that way, so it would be better to not go back.” Liam informs him, placing a hand on Louis’ shoulder. “Are you staying somewhere- like-“

 _Somewhere that could house us all._   It’s what he wants to say, without trying to overstep any imaginary boundaries.

“I’m staying at a small flat, like, half an hour from here, I think. We could go there.”

“Is it okay? Is it just you?” Louis asks. Seeming a bit more relieved, yet his posture still defensive.

“Yeah, I was uh- I was with someone else but, doesn’t matter anymore.” He answers, turning around and giving a hand to Harry and Niall to help them off the floor, seeing as Niall won’t give an inch of space away from Harry, they look a bit wobbly in their feet. “Is it just the four of you?”

“Yeah,” Louis replies, a weird grin appearing on his face, “just how we’ve been since march.”

“Louis-”

“We have to go back to the car, though.” Niall interrupts before Zayn can reply to Louis' dig. “Everything we have is in there. And Bas is going to show up there and if he finds us all gone he’s gonna think the worst.”

Zayn agrees as long as they stay silent and close. “If you say you left the car by the park, there’s another way to get there that leaves us with less of a chance of running into the biters.”

Even though they’re exhausted, probably dehydrated, and most definitely hungry, they begin their walk back.

 

“So, you’re telling me you learnt how to shoot a target in the middle of its head just by playing video games?” Louis asks after they’ve been walking for a good 20 minutes, Zayn leading them, Louis close behind him and asking way too many questions to get a reaction out of him. It used to be like this, in hotels and in the tour bus, before Zayn left, they’ve all been used to the both of them bickering back and forth, it used to be fun, a laugh, now it just makes the atmosphere tenser.

“Not just video games, Louis, fuck.” Zayn answers, making a face, “I played lots of paintball too,” Louis snorts beside him, “took a class of self-defence last June when I was in America.” And that shuts Louis right up.

“You took a what?” Harry asks, he’s been walking behind them both, Niall’s hand firmly grasped in both of his and Liam keeping an eye out behind them, he laughs too, surprised.

Niall is quietly seeing it all unfold.

“A self-defence class, what’s so weird about it?” Zayn scoffs, “I was bored.”

“You were bored,” Louis starts, “so you got off your arse to learn how to throw a punch.”

“Uh, yeah?” Zayn replies, scratching behind his neck and throwing an amused smile at Louis. “It was more than just throw a punch.” He continues, looking more carefully at Louis now, “It was getting it all out.” He says with a sigh, “it was a way to- I don’t know, not go absolutely crazy with everything that was changing.”

Louis doesn’t say anything right up. But Niall does. “I’ve always wanted to do that. A self-defence class.” It’s the first time he’s spoken since they started the walk back and they all turn to look at him, “must be useful I guess,” he shrugs, “Mark used to throw in a thing or two about it, but it was more like a laugh than actual teaching.”

“Yeah, Mark’s the one who got the idea in my head, to be honest.” Zayn says, “he said it’s something that strengths you right up, like, physically but also like, your mind, you feel more useful and like, beneficial I guess, dunno how to put it in words.” He stops for a couple seconds so he can walk beside Niall and Harry rather than just be in the front. “How is he by the way, like, with all this, were you guys together?”

Niall’s smile turns sad then, and Harry sighs deeply, shaking his head.

“He- right at the start, when we got here, he just- we didn’t know it was like that, we weren’t prepared and he-“

“I’m sorry,” Zayn immediately says, hugging Niall by his side and squeezing his shoulder.

The next five minutes go by in silence, not even Louis trying to lift up the mood.

 

-

 

Basil opens his eyes comically when they finally reach the car and sees Zayn and Louis having a chat in the backseat of the car as Liam dozes off with his head on the steering wheel and Harry and Niall cuddle in the passenger seat.

Louis explains everything that happened since Basil left them in the car. And all Basil can muster up to say when he sees the five of them, tired but safe, all huddled together in a small car, is, “I leave you idiots alone for an hour and you manage to escape an entire hundred of walkers while also reuniting with your ex-bandmate. The world is truly upside down.

He moves Liam to the back of the car and offers to drive while they rest. As soon as the car is ready to move, gas tank full for the time being, Zayn shoots directions from the backseat to lead them to the residential part of the neighbourhood.

“It’s over there. Right at the broken stairs.” Zayn says after a while, pointing to a white building, about 12 stories high. “The only way to get in is by the outer metal stairs, the first 3 floors are- occupied.” He explains, for the lack of a better word. “From floor 6 to 8 it’s safe.”

“How did you do all of this?” Louis asks, a bit overwhelmed. “You’re alone. Or you seem to be alone, how did you get here?”

“It wasn’t just me. It’s been just me for, maybe a week, but I was in some sort of group, they were the ones cleaning the building, getting those things to other floors and killing them.”

“What happened?” Liam asks.

“We were looking for food, an hour from here, east. The herd, the same herd you guys saw, got us, they’ve been around for weeks now and there’s always more, but we didn’t know, I got away, with a woman, but she died in the way back, there were just too many and- yeah.”

“I’m sorry, Z.” Niall says quietly, gripping Zayn’s elbow and squeezing.

“It’s okay now, I’ve been walking around the area for days, to see if any of them made it out too but, nobody else has come back.”

“You’re with us now, aren’t you?” Liam inquires, “I mean, you’re like, _with us_ , yeah?”

“Of course I am, you guys are with me, no way I’m staying alone anymore, it gets to your head. I haven’t been able to sleep since it happened. Too many things go wrong when you’re alone.”

It goes silent for a couple of seconds, maybe one, or all of them, are waiting for Louis to go out of his way and say some sort of _then why did you leave us in the first place?_ But he doesn’t, he just smiles crookedly at Zayn before he says, “so now you’re gonna make us go six floors up in those tiny ass stairs?”

Zayn laughs at that, shrugs and nods as he helps them one by one jump the first 4 steps that are broken. Maybe things won’t be as weird as they first thought.

 

They settle down in his small flat. It has a small kitchen that’s full of canned food. A living room that has two old and rusty sofas but are the most comfortable thing they’ve sat on since it all started, there are three bedrooms, with a single bed each. A bathroom that has no water but has soap and toothbrushes, and that’s more than what they were expecting.

So they choose their rooms. Bas offers to take the living room. Zayn already had everything of his in one of the rooms, so Liam and Louis take one and Harry and Niall the other.

They make a schedule, they count how much food they have and how long it could last. They organize a schedule to go out scavenging in pairs. They have a map of the area to track down where it’s empty, where there’s markets. Pubs, where they find more walkers. Where to never go. Where to go with more ammo than usual.

They settle down as best as they can with what they have.

And life goes on.

 

-

 

Harry and Niall’s day for scavenging together is on Tuesdays. And even though going out is always a step closer to death, when they are together is easier. They always get houses mission. As they call it.

They get into houses that look safe enough and they scavenge through clothes and shoes and mostly food. Always get back with at least two bags full of useful stuff. Every time they go out Louis reminds them to take his gift. It being the lube and the condoms. They pretend to be ignore Louis’ teasing, but they always make sure to leave with them in their pockets.

Today is a rare sunny day and Niall has a good feeling about it.

Zayn told them there’s a block of apartments that appears as new in the map he found in a tourist’s shop. Niall doesn’t know what the point of going is, if the properties are new enough that no people got to live in them, they are empty.

Louis says there’s always the possibility of getting inside that flat that’s always for showing off to people. It at least could have blankets. And it’s been cold on the nights lately, so they need plenty of them.

When they get there, they kill three walkers each, with a practice they never thought they’d have, and get inside the flat Louis talked about. And it’s- impressing. It’s big. And everything is new and untouched and tidy and clean. It’s been at least 3 months since Niall saw white floors and made beds and unbroken windows. At first he thinks he’s imagining it. There’s no way such a perfect place hasn’t been touched by the apocalypse yet. Harry says it’s probably because it’s kind of far from the centre of the city, away from main roads, and it’s so new it only popped up in the newly printed maps for tourists.

They fill their bags with pillows and blankets and plates and glasses and everything they find, even small, insignificant things that ends up making them both a bit nostalgic of the life they don’t have anymore.

When every bag is full and they are ready to leave and load it up in the car to go back, Niall finds himself wishing he could stay longer. That they could move here. Start a life in a newly built apartment that still smells clean and untouched.

“If the walls weren’t made of literally paper I’d consider bringing the rest here and moving.” Harry says from the door. Niall’s been sitting in the edge of the bed in what is supposed to be the main room and he startles at Harry’s voice.

“Took the words right out of my mouth.” Niall says. Looking down at the pretty carped under his dirty and bloody shoes. For a moment it’s like he’s back in time. Somewhere new, visiting his friends. And he feels inadequate for not taking off his shoes when he got in. It makes his throat go tight. He doesn’t remember when was the last time he saw something so clean and organized. So blood-free.

“are you alright?” Harry asks, sitting down beside Niall. The bed is so soft he actually bounces a couple of times and he lets out a laugh that makes Niall’s breathing go easier. Harry yawns and lays himself down on the bed. Feet still on the floor but his back flat on the bed, his arms spread out around him. He looks so ridiculous and when Niall laughs softly at him Harry grabs him by his shoulders and lowers him down beside him.

And it’s so calm. So light. Niall feels like he’s not in the middle of an apocalypse anymore. He’s just Niall. Just Niall and Harry being lazy on a sunny day, lying around in bed. With nothing important to do. Without minding of being noisy and laughing out loud. Getting to look out of the window without fear of being seen or heard by the undead. Without the oppressing fear of being too loud and grab the wrong attention.

“Hey,” Harry whispers beside him, lifting his hand softly against Niall’s cheek. “Why are you crying?”

“I just miss it.” Niall replies.

“Miss what exactly?”

“Miss waking up late in your arms, in our bed. Miss being quiet in the flat because I wanted to make you breakfast instead of being quiet to save our lives. Miss getting in the shower, with you, and warm water. And soap that it’s not shared with another 4 people. Miss my guitar and singing, and the fans, and the noise.” He says, letting silent tears flow down the corners of his eyes down to his hair. “Miss feeling alive.”

Harry doesn’t say anything for a minute. Lets Niall have his moment and just cuddles him closer when the tears don’t stop. “Not sure if I can give you back any of that right now, not sure if I can assure you that we’ll have it back at some point. But I can assure you I’m here. And being with you makes me feel alive.” Harry says, turning on his side towards Niall and kissing the pathway his tears have left on his face. “I’m not sure if I make you feel alive too, not as much as before. But I can make you feel alive for now. In this moment. In this weird little flat, we can be alive right now.”

Niall turns to kiss him on the mouth right in that moment. Harry stops their snogging for a couple seconds to get them proper in the bed. To have Niall comfortable to take off his clothes. Piece by piece. Littering his pale skin with kisses and spit and love.

They make love slowly. With no rush. With no fear. Because this. This is something they have. Something they’ll fight to always have, with their claws and teeth until the world is well and truly over. The fear ebbs away when they are kissing, when they are in each other’s space. And this is something that makes Niall feel alive.

That makes him make sure they both stay that way.

 

They go back, holding hands as Harry drives. And when they get back home Niall turns to Harry and climbs into his lap, not wanting to leave just yet.

“Thank you for today,” he whispers with his head tucked into Harry’s neck, breathing softly against his skin, “love you.”

Harry grabs his hips to set him sitting on his thighs, to be able to look at him properly. “Love you back. So much.” And leans in for a kiss.

 

-

 

“So. We gotta go get food.” Louis announces one morning, “the sun is out and the last time we walked around the west area we found some sort of market, seems safe enough. Three of us can go and get our reserves up, we need it.”

Zayn nods beside him, things have gotten better since the first day they got here, almost a month ago. They have turns to go scavenging around, in houses, cars, everything they find. They’ve gotten closer, again. And it’s good, safe. Something in the back of Harry’s head sometimes feels like it’s waiting for something to go to hell.

“I can go, I know the area a bit better, Lou and Haz went last time so I’ll go with Niall and Liam. That okay?”

“Course it is,” Niall says, already putting on his battered pair of sneakers. Sometimes, before they go out and Niall is tying up his shoes, he’s really thankful the apocalypse started when he was wearing a comfy pair of shoes. “We should go now, the weather’s changing lately and I don’t want to be out there if thunders start to go off, the little shits get crazier when that happens.”

“That’s true,” Harry says, bending down and kissing Niall’s lips. “Be careful, yeah? Don’t risk yourself for silly situations. Promise?”

“Promise.” Niall assures him, kissing him again with more force. “We’ll be back soon. In one piece.”

Harry nods, trying to get the uneasiness off his stomach. “I love you.”

“Love you too, bug.”

“No love for me, then?” Louis jumps in beside them, pouting dramatically against Niall’s shoulder.

“Get off Lou,” Niall laughs, “you’re not even going out.”

“That’s right. Okay. You two gotta get Little Nialler back home safe. Curfew is at 9.”

Liam shakes his head at him, laughing softly, fondly at Louis, “Sure, yeah. Come here now, a hug,” he says, opening his arms to get them all into a huddle. It’s similar to what they used to do backstage, the five of them, a hug, a silly song as they got their hands in the middle of their circle and a cheer. It was lighter, back then. They had their mics grasped in their hands instead of guns and knives. They were shaking out of excitement rather than fear. They ran towards the stage together to do what they loved most. Now it almost feels like a goodbye of sorts, like a I don’t know if I’ll see you again in the worst days, when the sky is too dark and there’s no food and just a bottle of water, it seems like it is their last day, like they’re running out of chances.

As the door closes shut behind the three of them and Louis secures it with two metal bars Harry sends out a prayer that he’ll have Niall in his arms again soon.

 

-

 

They get to the small market easily enough. They get better with practice, it seems. They no longer tremble and doubt when they have to kill one of those things. It’s easier now, to walk slowly and quietly behind one and getting their knife into its skull and then out.

It’s deserted inside, rows and rows of food and beverages and toiletries organized in their shelves. It seems like whoever who locked it up one night never came back the day after, but they don’t let themselves think about that anymore. They get their bags full and their pockets. And then as quietly as they got in they get out.

It’s when Liam is locking back up that it happens. Niall is just a few steps away from them, pressing his hands to the sides of his face to try to look in the inside of the cars that are parked outside, he doesn’t notice the window of the backseat is broken when he leans in to look in the driver’s window and a zombie’s bloody face comes out, way too fast for Niall to get away before it digs its teeth in Niall’s arm and bites.

He screams, getting his knife out with trembling hands and gets it through the zombie’s head. He falls butt first to the ground, whimpering with tears rolling down his cheeks as he presses a hand to the wound with a hiss.

“God, no. No, _no no no._ ” Liam says as he crouches down beside him. “Niall, no, no, oh my god, look at me, Ni, it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.”

“Liam, Liam, Liam.” Niall cries, scratching at Liam’s clothes wildly. He cries out when Zayn pries his hand away from the bite. “It hurts so much, it hurts.” He keeps crying helplessly, recoiling into himself when it starts to burn, like he can feel the venom spreading through his arm and fingers, killing him slowly and so, so painfully. “Please. Please don’t let me turn, Z, please kill me, please.” He sobs. He feels drained. Hot all over but his teeth are clattering against each other.

“We won’t let you die. Nialler, don’t say that, come on, just stay with me. We’ll get you home and patch you up,” Liam says, sobbing as he tries to get Niall to stay awake.

“Don’t close your eyes, Ni, we’re going home, okay? To Harry, and Lou and you’ll feel better, we’ll find a way to stop this. Fuck, Niall, stay awake.”

Niall takes a last look to his arm. The zombie didn’t bite off a piece of his arm, it sank its teeth right through his skin, and it’s red and bleeding all over but maybe they can save him, Niall thinks, maybe they can just chop off his arm and he’ll survive. He lets himself hope.

It’s when Zayn ties a piece of his shirt around his forearm tightly, a good inch away from the bite that he screams again, his vision going hazy at the edges he can’t make out who’s Liam and Zayn anymore. He thinks of Harry one last time, of him waiting at home, thinks of how he himself feels when Harry’s the one who leaves the house and he’s left with one of the other lads waiting anxiously for him to come back. He thinks of Harry’s smile that morning when they woke up, the kiss they shared before he left.

Someone is lifting him off the ground now, crying out Niall’s name a thousand times before he lets himself slip and passes out.

 

-

 

They stumble into an empty street, taking turns to carry Niall, when Liam notices he hasn’t stopped bleeding, and he’s not looking any better.

“Z, I think we need to do something.” Liam says panting, stopping a bit and leaning against a wall. “He’s losing so much blood; he won’t make it back.”

“And do what Liam?!” Zayn shouts, arranging Niall in his arms and paling a bit when he sees the blue tinge in his lips. “What we have to do is get him home right now, we left the car not too far from here, we have to take him home, Basil knows about these things, he’ll know what to do, we can’t do anything here.”

“But he-“

“Do you want to rip his arm off with the very same knife you’ve killed walkers? Is that your grand idea?” He asks harshly, turning around and moving quietly yet swiftly down the street towards the small clearing where they left the car.

Liam follows him with heavy steps, looking around and watching Zayn’s back as Zayn’s attention is focused solely on Niall and getting him home.

 

-

 

Getting home is a relief and a war all in one. As soon as Liam fumbles with the keys and opens the gate of the flat they’re staying in Louis is on them. Mumbling all kind of things, Liam’s not sure if he’s happy they’re back or worried they’re back so early, until Zayn finally makes his way through the door, sweat dripping down his face and onto Niall’s clothes where he has him pressed up against his chest.

“Please get Basil,” He pants out, clutching Niall’s shirt like a lifeline, “Lou, fuck, get Basil right now. Niall’s bit.”

The sound of a plate dropping to the floor makes Harry’s presence known. He’s holding a cloth in one hand, his other hand, now empty, is trembling. He’s looking at Zayn but it’s like he’s not actually seeing him at all. Eyes wide and cheeks pale, his mouth is halfway open and Zayn can only look back at him with sorrow in his eyes.

Basil comes running past him when Zayn’s about to open his mouth to apologize, and takes Niall from Zayn’s arms. It’s not until the older man starts yelling for “towels, and water, clean and disinfect a knife, right now, get on it!” that he snaps out of it.

He drops the cloth and steps on Liam’s toes to get where Basil and Louis are lying Niall down on the mattress of Harry and Niall’s room.

The thing is, Niall looks dead already.

His lips are a darker shade of blue than how they were when Zayn was in the car with him, and he’s pale, so sickly pale. His chest barely lifting up and going down with uneven and laboured breaths.

His entire body drops three feet underground when Harry covers his mouth with both hands, choking on a sob and throwing himself into the room, a thud of his knees dropping to the floor making him wince.

“Haz-“

“What happened?” Harry asks, shutting him up, he’s not yelling, but Zayn can tell he’s close to. “Zayn what the fuck happened out there?”

“We, we were already leaving, we had everything in bags and Niall went ahead to check on the cars that were outside and, I don’t know, I was closing up when he screamed and when I turned around he was on the floor and Liam was killing the motherfucking thing, and, fuck, Haz, I don’t know, I’m so sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.”

“You said you’d always keep an eye on him,” Harry says, standing up to Zayn’s level, “you promised to keep him safe, you both did, how could you let this happen?!” And this time he is screaming, shoving Zayn away with both of his hands on Zayn’s chest.

Liam interferes in that moment, holding Harry back, and he visibly deflates. He crumbles under Liam’s hands and against Zayn’s chest, and he sobs. He sobs and he chokes on half formed words and pleas, when his knees weaken under him and Basil sends a look at both of them, they quietly and carefully take him out of the room.

 

-

 

Louis and Basil come out of the room after Harry has calmed down and is just sniffling and wiping his running nose, he’s wrapped in a hoodie that Liam recognizes belongs to Niall, and he stands up on shaky legs when Basil opens his mouth to speak.

“We couldn’t cut off his arm.” He starts, sitting down on the worn out sofa and accepting the wet flannel Zayn offers to both him and Louis so they can wipe away the dried blood. Niall’s blood.

“What did you do then? You were there for hours. Did he turn? Did you already kill him?” Harry gasps out, “Tell me!”

“He’s fine. He’s breathing, with difficulties, but he is.” Basil says, taking both of Harry’s hands in his bigger ones. “We don’t have much medical equipment here, and cutting off his arm after it had been more than half an hour after the bite would have been useless. Could have killed him earlier, so we didn’t.”

“Is- is that good? I mean, how is he? You’re not making any sense.”

“We disinfected it, and he actually woke up a little bit while we were wrapping it up with a gauze.”

“He kept mumbling your name, H.” Louis says, voice gruff, he looks exhausted. “But he has no fever. The skin around the bite was, as Basil said, not too damaged, I mean, to not get too graphic it didn’t look as ugly as we’ve seen others.” He sighs, dropping his head backwards on the sofa and breathing deeply. “We just have to wait, having no fever is a good sign but, a bite is a bite, right?”

“We- um. Well, we kind of tied him to the bed just in case anyway.” Basil mutters.

“I want to see him.” Harry says, standing up and opening the door’s room without waiting for approval.

 

-

 

When Zayn goes to check on both of them about an hour later, Harry’s asleep with his head resting on the mattress and the rest of his body on the floor. Niall still has no fever, hasn’t moved an inch since Louis and Basil left the room, and even though he still looks pale and his skin is ice cold to the touch, he doesn’t look worse.

“It’s just a matter of time.” Basil says, making Zayn jump when a hand clamps him on his shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze.

They can only hope for the best.

 

-

 

“Harry, are you sure you want to sleep here tonight?” Louis asks a couple of hours later, after the sun has gone down and the candles are all lit, windows covered, and stomachs half full after they tried to eat the canned food they had left from a few weeks prior. Somewhat it felt wrong eating the food Liam, Zayn and Niall had scavenged that morning. Felt wrong having a fest without Niall there to share it with.

“I am,” he replies, voice raspy, “I can’t leave him. He can’t leave me. Not under my watch.” He says, a choked chuckle trying to come out but his teary eyes and wobbly lip win and he wipes his cheeks harshly for what feels like the hundredth time today.

“Alright then,” Louis says, leaves for about 2 minutes before he’s back with two blankets and a pillow that’s actually two fluffy jackets wrapped in a lighter one. Helping Harry spread them on the cold tiles of the floor so he can at least stay a bit warm. “It’s okay,” he says, when Harry lies down and curls into a ball, reaching for Niall’s hand that was left dangling from the edge of the bed. “He’s gonna be just fine.”

“How can you be sure?” Harry asks.

“We’ve seen people turning, Haz. Too many. It’s been six hours since the bite, and he’s still here. Still no fever. We’re going out in the morning to get some medical supplies and try to find something that makes his breathing easier. Basil said that could help.”

Harry stays silent for a bit, tears falling messily from the corners of his eyes, down his nose and disappearing into his hair. “He looks so cold.” He sniffles. “And even if- Even if he’s still here. It doesn’t mean anything, does it? He’s bitten. Infected. Whatever shit you wanna call it. We’ve seen too many people turning, Lou, but never one not turning after a bite.”

“But Niall is a special one, isn’t he?” Louis says, fondness and sadness tampering his voice. “Who says he can’t be the first one we witness not-turning, uh? Who says this zombie shit has to be black and white? Is there a book with rules? You get bitten then you die? I don’t think so.”

“Lou.”

“Maybe is the Irish in him. Irish people are always winning at something.”

“Louis.”

“I’m just saying. Not everything has gone to shit.” His face changes then, it morphs into something sombre, a bit more real. “At least it can’t be. Not this way.” His voice wobbles as he speaks, but he keeps going. “Not for Niall.”

Harry lets go of Niall’s hand to squeeze Louis’ instead. “He won’t let it win that easily, he’s strong like that. Stubborn as only he can be.”

That brings the smile back to Louis’ face, and he squeezes Harry’s hand back before he lets go and stands up. “Go to sleep, curly. Bas is staying just outside, just, give ‘im a shout out if anything happens.”

Louis leaves the room after placing a gun in a small table beside Harry’s makeshift bed.

Harry pretends he doesn’t notice.

 

-

 

Liam is on watch when Louis wakes up the following morning. The rest still sleeping inside, including Niall, with no signs of fever or infection. Yet. It’s one of those mornings when you can tell it’s going to rain all day, cold seeping into his bones as he sits beside Liam on the window still.

“Seen anything interesting, Payno?” he asks as a greeting, patting Liam’s back softly. “You look a bit rough, mate. How many hours of watch did you take? Or did you take over someone’s turn?”

“Told Z he could stay sleeping when he woke up at 3am to take over.”

With a swift look at the watch on Liam’s wrist Louis sees its 9am. “Have you lost your mind? You’ve been here for more than six hours, Liam, fuck off and go to sleep.”

“No, it’s alright. I wanted him to rest.” He sighs, “After the day he had yesterday-“

“We.” Louis interrupts him, “After the day we had yesterday. It wasn’t only him outside with Niall when it happened, you were there too, you need your rest, and you need to wind down, Li, relax a bit.”

“I can’t, though.” Liam replies, rubbing his eyes with his bruised knuckles.

“And why is that?” Louis asks, softening his voice does the trick to get Liam to open up.

“I go fucking crazy when I’m not. Fuck, I don’t know.”

“No, c’mon. Let it out Leemo. It’s all good, I’ll keep it between us, if that’s what you’d like.”

“I just don’t- I was taking a breath yesterday while Zayn was locking up the market, I turned my back to Niall for one bloody second to get some water and he gets hurt. He’s dying in there because I couldn’t take care of him. And I promised I would.”

“Liam you can’t do this to yourself, that’s not fair at all. What happened yesterday was no one’s but the rotten’s fault. Not yours, nor Zayn’s. Not even Niall’s.” Louis says, “and he’s not dying. He has no fever, I checked a couple minutes ago. Just sleeping like a rock.”

“I could have prevented it anyway, if I-“

“Don’t start with the if’s Liam, honestly.”

“It just drives me crazy sometimes. Not being able to fix this, to make it all go how it was before. Taking care of you guys is what’s only left to do, and I can’t even do it right.”

“Liam. Shit, Liam, you’re not responsible of us, alright? We need you, we need each other, we look out for each other, you’re not alone protecting us all, we’re protecting you too. It’s how we stay alive. Shit goes wrong sometimes, we know that, that didn’t change.”

“It’s just, it’s what keeps me going Lou. I’m not Liam Payne from One Direction anymore, nor am I Liam, the youngest at my house, my mum’s boy, I’m none of that anymore.  You guys are the only thing I have left, and I have to protect you with my life because if I ever lose you-“

“Hey, hey now, take a deep breath. You’re alright.”

“Being able to watch out for you guys make it more worth it. Gives a purpose to roaming around the streets and stealing gas from broken cars or eating the old cans of food we scavenge. It’s a reason to not let my guard down.” He takes Louis’ hand in his and breaths deeply, squeezing then letting go, “It wakes me up at the mornings and keeps me awake at night during watch, it’s what’s keeping me alive, Louis. You guys make my life worth risking.”

Louis can’t find the right words to say after that. So he just stays quiet for a bit, waits until Liam’s breathing is steady again, until his shoulders are not as tense and the small smile he gives him when he pats his cheek gently seems more real.

“We love you Liam.” He says after neither of them are at edge anymore. “And we’re here for you as much as you want to be there for us. Alright?”

“Yeah,” Liam replies softly, “alright, I guess.”

“Don’t patronize me, now, Payno.” Louis chuckles, breathing a bit more easily again as Liam shoves him with his shoulder, leaning into him and yawning.

“Now that that’s settled, how ‘bout you go over to sleep, I’ll wake Zayn up, and I’ll wake you again when we have to leave.”

“But we’re stocked. We brought so much food yesterday, what are you going out for?”

“Basil said it’s better to find some medical supplies. Not only for now but like, it’s useful shit we don’t have and we’ll need at some point. I’m going with him.”

“Just the two of you? I can-“

“I can bet your ass that if you stand up right now you’ll drop dead to sleep right here, so no, you won’t be going anywhere else other than to take a kip. Zayn will keep watch. Harry probably won’t leave Niall’s side.”

Liam accepts begrudgingly, kicking Louis softly with his foot when he stands up unsteady, eyelids getting heavier with every move he makes.

“You’re the worst.” Liam says, “I swear we only keep you around cuz you make good tea.”

“Sure, Li. You keep telling yourself that.”

Liam leaves the room with a giggled fuck off, leaving Louis smiling to himself as he closes the door behind him.

 

-

 

Niall wakes up three days after the bite.

He wakes with a start. If he had enough strength he’d probably leap out of the bed to throw up but he feels insanely empty, weak, hot but shaky. Turning his head to check his surroundings takes enough energy as it is. He tries to swallow down the feeling of nausea, shutting his eyes tightly and breathing. He makes a mental check on his own body. He feels and moves his fingers and toes, bends his knees slightly, it’s when he’s trying to bend his elbows when he feels it. The resistance of a thick bandage that covers most of his right arm. It looks clean, all white from his knuckles and up to the middle of his upper arm. And that’s when he remembers, the bite. The pain, the fear, the weakening feeling, the numbness, the dark he’s been in what feels like years. He wants to rip off the bandage to see for himself what exactly happened. If he’s alive, he couldn’t have been bitten. He should be dead. Maybe he is and that’s why he’s not hurting.

“Niall.”

Harry’s breathy voice comes from somewhere close, but Niall can’t make himself open his eyes. If he’s dead, and Harry’s here, is Harry dead too? If he isn’t dead, where the hell is he?

He tries to speak but not a single noise comes out. It just makes his throat scratchy and it hurts to let air in.

“Shh, c’mon, I have a bottle of water here, just. Fuck, I’ll try to sit you down and you take a couple sips, okay? Slowly, your stomach has been empty for days, don’t want to make you sick.

Niall wants to tell him he feels sick already. Feels like he could throw up an entire meal, if he had any. He doesn’t want water, he’s sure it’ll come out as soon as it goes past his throat. But he can't quite speak to tell Harry so.

He tries to shake his head after Harry’s done messing with the pillow enough to keep Niall sitting in the uncomfortable bed without making much effort to keep himself up and offers the bottle to Niall’s lips.

“You have to drink something. The IV we had you in ran out yesterday morning and we are afraid you’re too dehydrated, and you need to heal. Ni, please.”

The anguish in Harry’s voice does it, and he parts his chapped lips slightly to let a small sip in. He can feel the skin on his lips breaking with the small movement. And when Harry lowers the bottle down he tries to run his tongue through his lips. But even his tongue feels as dry as a desert.

“A bit more?” Harry asks softly. Taking Niall’s cheek in his hand and caressing the skin.

“G’na puke.” He manages to say before Harry continues lifting the bottle up and he widens his eyes quickly, putting the bottle down on the floor and picking a small bowl that apparently was under the bed. He puts it under Niall’s chin and looks at him in concern.

Niall retches for about five minutes until he feels his stomach calming down. Nothing actually comes up, it just makes his head hurt and Harry’s eyes shine with tears.

Once he’s lying down again, on his side this time, Harry takes a cloth and wets it, pressing it on Niall’s forehead and neck when it’s damp enough.

“You’re okay now.” He says, playing with the tips of Niall’s hair.

“But how?” He rasps out. “Where did y’get all this?”

“We found a pharmacy.” Harry says, taking the cloth away and spreading it in the corner of the bed for it to dry before he takes Niall’s hands in both of his and sits close. “It’s about an hour from here. Zayn found it in another one of his maps and he and Basil went to get some things when you were way too dehydrated.” Harry explains, his thumb caressing Niall’s palm as he speaks.

“You survived a bite, lad.” A voice says from the door, and it’s Louis, with his beard longer than Niall last remembers and deep bags under his eyes. “We weren’t gonna let you die of dehydration.”

“I still don’t get it.” Niall says, voice gaining a bit more of force, “I was bitten. I remember it. How am I here”

Zayn shows up right in that moment, with Liam and Basil right behind. And immediately Liam rushes over to the bed and hugs him gently, it’s enough for him to feel it but soft enough to not jostle his bandaged arm “I’m so glad you’re okay, Nialler.” Liam says wetly against his neck, “so fucking good to see you.”

When he finally lets go, Harry climbs into the small bed beside him, grabbing his hand and letting his head fall on top of Niall’s shoulder, cuddling into it. “I love you so much.” he whispers, and Niall can feel the tears running down Harry’s cheeks and falling on his t-shirt but he can’t care about that right now.

“Love you too, pet.” Niall says instead, lifting his arm with all the energy he has left and circling it around Harry’s waist to keep him close.

“You were bitten Niall.” Basil says after a couple minutes. He looks older than Niall remembers seeing him, all of they do.

“How long has it been?”

“Just three days.” Basil replies, though the just sounds a bit forced.

“The longest.” Harry mutters, warm lips pressing against Niall’s neck and that feeling alone is enough to make him see he’s really here. He’s alive.

“I’m alive.” He says out loud, just to have the satisfaction of being able to. “I’m alright now, aren’t I?”

“You are, Nialler.” Louis says, he steps fully into the room and sits by Niall’s other side, ruffling his hair softly. “You really are.”

“How, though? Did you do anything? Any meds?”

“Nothing at all.” Basil says. “When you got here after the bite it all looked really bad. You were barely breathing and the bite wouldn’t stop bleeding.” He explains, sitting at the end of Niall’s bed, Harry curls up into Niall even further, whether to make more space for Bas or in a search for comfort, Niall doesn’t know. “We got you in the bed, disinfected the bite and took out the- the grossest bits, the ones that clearly wouldn’t heal. After that we just wrapped it up and let you sleep. You didn’t have a fever; you just were really really cold. And the next morning we realized your breathing wasn’t getting any better. So we went out a town over in search of a pharmacy and got supplies. We got fluids in you, and brought a tank of oxygen and a mask. It went better from there.”

“You started breathing normally again.” Louis continues, still sitting close beside him, “your cheeks started getting colour again and you still didn’t have a fever. So we checked the bite, cleaned it up again. You were stable the entire time up until now that you woke up. You’re doing perfectly Ni, and it doesn't make much sense for me, but I couldn’t honestly care for an explanation when I got you here after the worst happened.”

“It actually looks like it’s healing.” Zayn says from where he’s leaning against the wall in front of Niall’s bed. “Cleaned it myself this morning, there’s no sign of infection. I have no idea how did this happen, but as Louis said, there’s no reason to lose sleep over that when we got you back with just a scratch.”

“I love you, lads” Niall says with a lump in his throat. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. I should have been more careful; I could have put you guys in danger. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t say that.” Harry says, lifting up his head from Niall’s shoulder to look him straight in the eyes. “You don’t have to fucking say that.” He stresses out, tears still clear in his eyes and eyelashes. “It was no one’s fault, And you’re here right now. You fought it off. And you survived. What happened, happened, and there’s no changing the past, so don’t feel guilty for something that could have happened to any of us. What matters is that you came back to us, despite the odds and despite the circumstances you’re here, and that’s all we all should focus on.”

 

-

 

It’s later in the day when Harry finally gets to ask what’s been eating him away since Niall got hurt.

After they’ve helped Niall shower and after all the dirty sheets are changed to the ones Harry and Niall collected that time in the new apartments, after they finally get to sit down in the small living room with a plate full of the food Zayn, Liam and Niall found, he finally feels settled enough to ask.

“What happened before the bite?” He asks before he loses his nerve. “Zayn said you’d tried to get something out of a car but, I’m just trying to make sense of it in my head. I’m sorry I brought it back up.”

“Thought we wouldn’t talk any more about this.” Zayn says, eyes going glassy for a second before Niall speaks up.

“I heard something.” He says quietly, he’s propped up in pillows in the biggest sofa, he’s still sleepy, Harry knows, and he regrets for a moment not letting the topic drop and just let Niall get his rest. “It was like, static, I guess. Like the sound the radio makes in between stations. I didn’t think much of it at first but- I was just standing there as Liam and Zayn locked the market up, and I swear I heard a voice.”

“What do you mean a voice, like, a radio voice? Was the radio getting a signal from somewhere?” Louis asks, leaning forward to the edge of his seat as if that’ll make him process the information better.

“Yeah, it was like a repetitive thing. I thought it was nothing. But, when I got close I heard it better, it was like an emergency signal, it was saying something about a safe place but I- I couldn’t hear anything else after- I-”

“That’s when you got bit.” Liam deadpans. Face looking serious and tense. “This is, this is important. We only tried to get radio signal about two months ago and we gave up, what if we missed something? What if there’s somewhere safe to go?”

“Calm down Liam, it could have also been an emergency signal that started when all of this started and never went out. It could be months old. I could be anything.” Basil says, trying to remain calm and neutral, as he always has been.

“There’s only a way to know, right?” Louis asks, Niall is quick to reply.

“No. You’re not going back there. You can’t get hurt, I won’t let that happen to any of you.”

“Nialler we’d know what we’re facing this time. We’d be ready.” Liam explains, hope shining in his wide open eyes. “We can go tomorrow, kill the fucking thing, and then we get the radio out or we stay there until we hear the message. That’s the only way we’ll know.”

“Why risk it though?” Niall insists, looking desperate, shaking fingers fisting his blanket tightly. “We’re alright here, we don’t need to move anywhere else, we don’t need to know what it was, we can just stay. All of us.”

“At this point, staying alive is also a risk, Ni.” Zayn speaks out for the first time since they started talking, “We’re alright now, yeah. But at some point we’ll scavenge the possible stores and houses. At some point water and food will start running out. At some point we’ll need to find somewhere else to go. This isn’t stopping. At least we think it isn’t. That message can tell us whether there’s a chance to stay alive instead of just keep on surviving in the worst conditions. We need to know if there’s something they’re doing out there or if this is truly the end of it all.”

“What if it’s old? What if it’s a trap? What if there’s no safe zone, no cure?”

“Then we’ll at least know for sure, instead of it being a what if.” Basil says. “If we don’t do this it’ll be something that’ll be always at the back of our minds. It’ll become the biggest what if of our lives. I know you want to keep us safe. I want that too, we all do. But there are risks worth taking, and if this turns out to be a way out, then it definitely is worth it.”

“I think it’s something we should do, Ni.” Harry says, taking both of Niall’s hands in his when Niall looks up at him with wide eyes. “We can’t let fear stop us from finding some answers.”

Niall stays silent for a couple of minutes after that, looking at all of them one by one until he finally nods. “Just promise me you’ll stay safe. Promise you’ll come back. No funny business.”

“We promise, Nialler.” Louis says, finally standing up from his precarious position at the edge of his seat to kneel in front of Niall. “You have absolutely nothing to worry about.”

 

 

-

 

The next morning Basil, Louis and Liam pack some bags and get ready to leave their flat.

They have knives and a bat and the two machetes they’ve had since the beginning. Each of them carries a gun, but they know not to fire any bullet unless is absolutely necessary.

They find the car easily enough, and Liam tries to not think about the fact that all the dried blood on the broken window and on the pavement they’re currently standing on, is Niall’s blood.

Louis gets his machete and puts it through the rotting’s head so quick Liam is left frozen beside him. The crack of the thing’s skull breaking make Liam shiver in some sort of weird satisfaction.

With the rotten out of the way, they get inside the car. Basil standing outside and keeping watch of any possible threats there might be looming around.

It takes them about ten minutes to get the radio just in the right station that airs the message clear and loud enough. “This is an emergency signal. Everyone listening to this in London and near towns can come to the CDC headquarters in East London. There’s a safe zone to any and all survivors. We guarantee food, water and medical care to anyone coming. This is an emergency signal. Everyone listening to this-” Liam turns the volume down after the message starts again. It is repeated about five times before the signal dies and it goes back to static again. Only to be repeated five minutes later.

“You think this still stands?” Louis asks.

“It’s the CDC, it has to. They must have been ready for this, right? I mean it’s the fucking centre of disease control. They must be doing something.” Basil says, a hint of a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “We might have a chance to get there in a couple of weeks. We just have to let Nialler heal a bit more, probably a week or two, then get as much supplies as we can and get on the road.”

“This is fucking crazy.” Liam says,

“We’re not that far from East London, maybe a three-day trip as long as we get enough gas.”

“Let’s go back and tell the other three. I want to get out of this fucking car already.” Louis says, Liam making a humming sound behind him.

 

Telling the others goes easily enough. Niall agrees to stay in for a week as he gets back on his feet, Harry suggests two weeks, but Niall says he doesn’t want to hold them back any longer than he has to.

He knows, deep down, that if they see he needs another couple of days, they’ll make him have them.

There’s things to organize. Scavenging trips to get gas and food and ammo, because they have never ventured into the east part of the city and they don’t know what to expect. Better to be well prepared.

If things go well they’d get to the CDC in 12 days.

They had forgotten how it felt to have something to look forward to.

 

-

 

The days leading up for their leave to the CDC are the most normal Niall’s had in months.

Harry goes scavenging with them on the second day of the twelve they have, and he comes back home with one bag so full the zipper breaks when he’s trying to close it. “It’s for a surprise, don’t you dare look.”

“Should have taken two bags with you, shouldn’t you?” Niall teases when Harry tries to walk just right by his side but trying to keep the bag as closed as he can without running into anything.

“Shh, don’t make fun of me. You’ll love it, you’ll see.” Harry says with a smile so real it convinces Niall to leave him to it.

One the fourth day Niall goes down the dodgy stairs with careful and small steps. His arm is healing better and better as the days pass, but he still feels shaky on his feet at times and the need to be wrapped up in blankets napping the day away doesn’t seem to want to leave him just yet., it’s like getting over an annoying cold, Harry tells him, and Niall thinks that’s the best description of what he’s feeling right now.

Still, despite the shivers and the shakiness, he goes outside to check the ruckus the rest are causing downstairs. He finds them all surrounding a car Niall recognizes as a Maserati.

“Where did you lads find this gem, what the hell?” He asks, making his presence known and scaring the shit out of Louis, who was closest to him. He dodges the fist Louis throws at his shoulder and asks, “Who’s the lucky owner, then?”

“I am.” Liam says. “We found it at an abandoned car shop almost at the end of the city. We figured, since we need to be on the road for at least three days, it was better to have a new one. I was the one who found the keys, so it’s mine.”

“You mean you took the keys right out of my hand and tried to kick me in the shin just so you could get to the car faster.” Louis says, looking at Liam with a challenging look that has a hint of fondness too.

“We didn’t say we couldn’t play dirty.” Liam shots back, eyes shining with mischief and one of those smiles that take all over his face.

“I’ve corrupted you, Payno.” Louis says, “but not to use it against me,”

“Drama queen.” Zayn says, looking up at him with an open expression that makes him look younger.

“We’re definitely going back there before we leave. And I’m gonna get a better car than yours Leemo, just wait and see.”

“Or,” Liam says with a giggle, “I’m gonna end up with two.”

Niall reaches out and pats Liam in the back, “Go Payno!”

“Don’t encourage him!” Harry laughs. “They’d be at it all day! One always wanting to beat the other until we’d need to find a tow to take all those cars back with us.”

They all end up laughing, even Basil joins in the banter that continues after Louis starts a bet on who’d get the most cars.

When the laughter has finally died down Liam turns to look at Zayn and asks, “have you found any spray paint, by any chance?”

Zayn nods, not even asking what is it for before he rushes upstairs back to their flat and comes back about five minutes later with a small, battered bag. He opens it and hands Liam five cans of paint and a couple graphic markers. “I’ve been looking for more, because they’re about to dry up, but you can use them all you like. I’ve been eyeing a small store that has supplies, might go tomorrow, if you wanna join.”

“Sure mate,” Liam agrees eagerly. Then, wiggling his eyebrows and looking at all of them, he asks, “wanna help me customize my new ride?”

 

At the end of the day, the clean Maserati is nothing but a mess. Liam started drawing batman signs at each door, Zayn and Harry added a couple small doodling’s and words in the front. And it was looking alright until Liam realized Louis was being far too quiet where he was standing with a can of red paint in his hands.

“You did your part Tommo?” He asks, “Is that red paint?” He asks again, eyes going wide. “Lou, what the hell!”

Niall, who had been sitting on the hood of the car, with a blanket draped over his shoulders watching Harry draw, steps down and walks to the back of the car to check what has Liam in shock and Louis, Harry and Zayn in a fit of laughter. And when he sees, he’s quick to join in.

“You drew a gigantic penis in my new car, Tommo!” At there is. Right in the middle of the rear window of the car in bright red paint. Soon enough Liam gives up trying to hold back his laugh and tackles Louis to the ground, both in a fit of giggles.

 

-

 

They spend the last two days packing everything up and getting ready to leave. It reminds Louis a bit of the days leading up to going back to tour. Except from packing tons of clothes though, this time they pack water bottles and canned food. Instead of laptops and chargers and phones, they get four bags just for ammo. Knives of every kind along with guns and bats and everything enough to break a rotten skull.

Instead of looking forward to it, with nervous energy and giddy laughs, they are all dreading it. The entire flat feels too small for a moment, like all of them are feeling the same bad vibes but none want to bring it up, to make it more real and solid.

Harry disappears into the kitchen after his and Niall’s bags are ready and set by the entrance door. Louis overhears him telling Niall to not show up in the kitchen and leaves him in their bedroom with water and a pack of cookies Harry found in a house a day ago.

He comes out about half an hour later with a box of cupcakes open, two candles and a handful of plates that look just about to fall out of his hand.

“May I ask what’s this all about?” Louis asks from where he watches as Harry sets it all on the table.

“It’s Liam and Niall’s birthday party today.” Harry says, as if it’s obvious.

“It’s not.” Louis starts, “Is it? How do you even know?”

“I don’t” Harry says. “But it might be.”

“What are you on about, H?”

“I just thought we could all use a bit of a breather. The last few days have been great, we’ve stayed together and we’re safe. But we have a bit of a challenge ahead. I just wanted us to have, I don’t know like-”

“A last dinner?” Louis scoffs with a raised eyebrow.

“No, Lou, what the fuck. I just, don’t know, it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“It is, Hazza.” Louis concedes with a soft smile on his face. “Why not celebrate my birthday though? I get the reason behind celebrating Niall’s, but Liam’s? He doesn’t need a birthday party.”

“Hey!” Liam whines from where he’s just woken up from a nap in the sofa. “I do, too.”

“Right, Payno.” Louis teases. “You knew about this already?”

“I told them all except you and Niall.” Harry confesses beside him, he has eight cans of beer in his both hands and arms and Louis rolls his eyes at him before helping him putting them down on the table by every plate.

“I don’t like how attacked I’m feeling at the moment.” Louis says with a pout. “I wouldn't have told Niall.”

“Told me what?” Niall’s voice carries from his room. “Am I missing something?” he asks, voice getting closer until Louis sees him standing in the end of the dining table. “Where were you hiding all that beer, Haz?”

“Oh, all of this?” Harry says, stepping closer to Niall and draping an arm around his shoulders. “Happy birthday.”

Niall stills for a moment, eyes going wide, and mouth set in a thin line. He looks just the exact same as he looked when one of them asked him to remember a specific date, a name or a number. Then recognition spreads on his face, a small smile peeking at the corner of his lips. “Birthday? I think you’re a bit off if my count went right, pet, but thank you.”

“You’ve been counting the days?” Zayn asks, coming from his bedroom and standing beside Niall with surprise in his eyes.

“Not every day.” Niall says, “but I started counting in Harry’s notebook after we lost Alberto, so it starts basically two weeks after we left America.”

“Wait how off is a bit off then?” Basil asks.

“Well, it must be sometime in November, probably around the second week.”

“You’re off by two months, Harold. Congratulations.”

“And then you’re wondering why it wasn’t your birthday we’re celebrating.” Harry pouts.

“Well, we have about a month to plan Louis’, though.” Niall says after poking Harry in the cheek to make him crack a smile. “I’ll let you know when we’re close to the grand date to get enough beer to last us until new year’s.”

“You’re a legend.” Louis beams at him, “Happy birthday Nialler!” Louis cheers, lifting the closest beer next to him and making a toast for Niall, the rest promptly doing the same.

It tastes kind of funny. There’s no electricity, so they have no fridge, so it has gone all warm, and the cupcakes are a bit hard to bite, but when he looks up he sees Harry smiling proudly at his idea, sees Zayn smiling fondly at the wet and loud kiss Niall leaves in Harry’s cheek. Sees Liam and Basil relaxed and smiling, a stance so difference from when they’re keeping watch, and he knows he can’t complain.

“Aren’t we celebrating Payno’s birthday too?” Niall asks after a while. And Liam says “Yes we are,” at the same time Louis says, “We aren’t!” and Niall laughs so hard he almost chokes on his beer. His laugh elicits them all to laugh as well, and it feels good, feels warm and safe.

Yeah, Louis can’t complain at all.

 

-

 

When the time to go finally comes, they are all painfully subdued,

Restlessness and worry clear as a day in the expressions of their faces. They are getting all the bags into the three cars they have now. Liam already in his with Louis in the passenger seat and Zayn in the backseat. Harry is driving the other one, the old and rusty car they’ve had since the herd, since they found Zayn.

It’s been months now, In the good days, it feels like it’s been no more than a month. On the bad days, like today, it feels like they’ve been living, surviving like this for years. Sometimes Harry can’t quite remember life as it was.

He can’t remember the feeling of warm baths and haircuts and a good home cooked meal. Sometimes he’s sure every concert and every performance was never real. That everything he did happily, safely, was all a dream. Because this is life right now. Even if it doesn’t feel like one.

It’s in days like these, when in the blink of an eye he sees Niall get a sharpened knife out of his pocket to get it through a walker’s head, as easily as he used to get up from the couch after a cuddle to reach out for his guitar and sing random tunes to Harry, then is that he’s thankful he barely remembers the old times. 

Because when he’s not remembering he’s not missing it anymore.

 

-

“I think we’re running out of gas.” Basil announces one cold snowy morning. They’ve been driving for two days, the first almost without getting any rest.

The streets are more crowded the closer they get to East London, and not even the bone-deep exhaustion they’re all feeling at the moment can get them to fall asleep, not with all the grunts and the dragging of feet just outside their windows.

They got out of the cars when Basil, who’s leading them, stopped in an open avenue that it’s not empty but it’s deserted enough they all can get out of the cars when Basil nods in a sign that it’s safe for now.

“You see that building over there?” Basil continues, “It seems like it was some sort of warehouse and the road seems empty enough to get there. I think we can take a rest in there, go for gas for all of the cars later and then take the road again.”

“How do we know we won’t get there to find it packed with bitters, though?” Zayn asks.

“The only way is to go over and check.” Basil explains, a guarded expression on his face. “This is snow is gonna make us take a break anyway.”

 

They find the warehouse thankfully empty.

“Well, this is as empty and emptiness goes.” Louis says. There’s no walkers. But there’s also not a single thing inside other than dust.

“We have some inflatable beds in the truck of the car, should we get them?”

“I don’t think we’re spending the night here. The faster we get to the CDC, the better. You can get blankets and pillows if you want, but nothing that leaves too much of a mess if we have to leave in a hurry.”

So that they do. Each of them grab blankets and a couple cans of food, after all of them have had something to eat, five nap as the other takes watch by the door. By the time everyone has slept at least an hour Basil decides it’s time to get back in motion.

“We can leave all together now with the risk of one, if not all of the cars running out of gas at some point, I have less than a quarter of the tank, and you guys must be halfway through it. But there’s no way to know where will we be when we inevitably get stranded.”

“What do you suggest?” Harry asks, rubbing the nape of his neck.

“I think it’s too much of a risk to continue like this. We need to find at least a tank of gas, we can leave one of the cars behind and go on with two that’d have the tank almost full.”

“But where would we get gas?” Liam says, “None of us has been around this zone before. And I haven’t seen any signs around here.”

“I’ll go take a look around.” Basil offers, calm and steady as he’s always been.

“Take our car.” Niall rushes out. “We’re more than half full, that has to take you far enough but still be able to come back.”

Basil takes the keys from Niall’s hands and nods. “I’ll be back in less than three hours. That’s the most I’m willing to be out there. It’s better to not be out there when it gets dark.” He swallows down a lump in his throat and says “If I’m not back by then, please stay inside, stay safe.”

Basil says goodbye with a hug to all of them, which is the usual thing to do when one of them is going out for supplies, but the pang Niall feels in his chest when he lets go of Bas leaves him with an uneasy feeling for the next three hours.

 

-

 

By the time three and a half hours have passed Niall starts pacing restlessly, biting his nails and closing his hands in a tight fist when they start bleeding. Louis says he must be on his way back, but by the time four hours have passed he sounds unsure himself.

“Maybe we should go out and look for him?” Niall tries, “Maybe the car broke down on his way back and he’s close or, maybe he needs help, we should head out and look around.”

“I don’t think that’s the best idea. Let’s wait an hour more, I’m sure he’ll be back by then.” Liam says, squeezing his hand. Harry and Zayn agree with him, but it doesn’t make Niall feel any better.

When another hour has passed Niall feels like he’s gonna be sick.

“We need to find him,” Niall insists, “he's out there, he probably needs us, it’s been five hours! Let's go. if we leave right now we might find him and come back before it’s completely dark out”

“Niall-”

“Get all of your guns ready. Won’t be pretty out there.”

“Niall we’re not going out there.” Liam says, his voice unwavering. The silence stretches for too long after he says it. “The sun is starting to set, we might have about an hour before is night time, it’s too risky.”

“Okay,” Niall says after looking at them warily, like they were kidding him in a really fucked up way. “Okay then, I'll go alone,” he states, closing his backpack and shoving his arms harshly into his hoodie, his movements are fast but clumsy, raged and uncoordinated, “if you lot are too scared I'll go alone.”

 

He moves towards the door, ready to hang it off his hives and go outside but a hand on his arm stops him swiftly.

“You can’t go out there Niall, please understand that,” Louis stresses out, holding Niall tightly by his shoulders. “Get that in your head. It’s dark out. Bas said he'd be back two hours ago, he said we shouldn't look for him if he wasn't back by three, he's still not here.” Louis says, his fight ending up in a sigh, “we’ll probably won’t find him anymore.”

“Shut up!” Niall shouts, shoving Louis away from him, from this angle Harry can see Niall's eyes shining with tears, fingers trembling as they pull at his own hair. “Shut up, he’s out there, Basil is out there, our friend is out there with those shitting monsters and it’s well past the time he said he’d take, and he's alone, fucking christ, we have to go looking for him!”

“Niall,” Zayn says, “no, listen to us, it’s too dangerous, if you go alone or we go with you, either way, we’re risking it too much.”

“We told him the same thing but he went anyway!” Niall begs, “You don't get it, we have to save him he’s probably in trouble and alone and we should be with him.” Niall all but yells.

“Okay then let's go when the sun comes up.” Harry reasons, standing up from his spot in the floor and walking towards the blonde, slowly taking Niall’s bag off his shoulders. “Maybe he found somewhere to stay the night, maybe something came up and he’s in the car waiting it out.”

“What?”

“It’s the safest option and-“

“-but not for Basil! What if he needs us right now?!” Niall asks bewildered, not waiting for a reply, “I'll go alone.” He shoves away Harry’s hands and slips out of Louis’ hold and opens the gate, gun already held up in his hand. It’s dark outside, and it’s raining, little droplets that mix along with the salty tears of frustration that he can’t keep from falling.

The rest of them go after Niall, of course they do.

And they do find Bas, he's lying in a patch of snow, drops of water hitting his bruised skin, he's pale, lips turning purple, his neck is clearly bitten as well as his right arm, there are red circles around his eyes and he’s tense and as still as a rock, it all tells them this happened hours ago.

“Bas,” Niall whispers, kneeling beside Basil’s body and looking for a heartbeat, a pulse, anything, “Bas, please, can you hear me? We’re all here, with you, we came, please open your eyes.”

Basil remains unmoving, not reacting, he’s colder than ice under Niall's fingertips, “Bas don't do this, no, no, no.” He cries, tearing Basil’s clothes apart to judge better his wounds, “I'm sorry for not coming before,” he wails, wiping hastily his cheeks and smearing blood over them in the process, “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,” he sobs. Bas’ chest is red, scaly and sore looking dots littering all over his chest and down to his belly. He’s infected, and they’re painfully aware that there’s no turning back at this point.

“Niall we need to get away from here.” Harry says, wiping away tears of his own and bending down to get closer to Niall and stop him from touching Basil any further.

Niall shakes his head, though, looking down at Basil’s body as the red dots start to pop by themselves, smearing a white and yellow nasty looking liquid out of them. Niall feels bile raise up his throat and he hastily swallows hard.

 

“Niall. Niall, he's turning. We have to go back and have you cleaned up, look at your clothes!”

“Basil’s dead!” Niall shouts, standing up suddenly and looking fiercely at Zayn, “Bas is dead right in front of our eyes and all you care about is the state of my clothes?”

“Ni. Niall, no, fuck your clothes. I honestly don't give a fuck about them, but you could get infected you were hurt merely few days ago and touching his blood won’t do you any good, please we have to stay safe, the five of us, for him, we have to stay alive for him,”

Niall sobs at the mere mention of leaving him there, the strong, angry and powerful charade disappearing as fast as it came. He shoves his hands into the snow and screams out another cry whilst the other can’t do nothing else but let him. Gently lift him up when his legs buckle under him and he falls in a leap into Harry’s lap, shielding his face from their glances as he collects himself once again.

He turns around when Basil’s body begins to move, eyes moving frantically under his closed eyelids and his fingers clenching around nothing

Niall reaches into his pocket at the same time Basil open his eyes, blotchy and black and dull on the inside, he growls loudly, trying to reach out towards Niall, who’s closest to him. Niall stands up in that moment without thinking it twice, protecting the rest of them with his lithe battered body and taking a step towards Basil, his body is trashing in the snow, trying to crawl towards Niall, Louis is already pointing his gun at Basil’s head but Zayn stops him, both turning to look at Niall unlocking his gun.

“Ni you don’t have to.”

Niall closes his eyes tightly after instead of replying, setting his shaking fingers on place on the trigger, He opens them again to point his gun at the centre of Basil’s forehead. And shoots.

It echoes through the whole street.

 

The ride back is hard. More so when they find the car Basil had taken with him, the driver’s window broken and bloody. The car doesn’t even make a noise when Liam turns the key in ignition. 

They continue on their way back, and by the time they reach the warehouse again it’s completely dark out.

They don’t bother with the inflatable beds, they just settle their blankets and pillows on the floor and try to sleep.

Try to not cry along with Niall as he sobs against Harry’s chest for the rest of the night.

 

-

 

They have to go on, the next morning. And if Bas didn’t seem to find a gas station they won’t waste time looking for one. They decide to keep going, until they’re only running on fumes. Following one of Zayn’s maps and hoping it’s not an old one that will take them to a dead end.

The car dies when they are, according to the map, about 20 miles from the CDC, in the middle of the night, hungry and defeated. Angry, grieving. With a hole too big in their chests they’re not sure they’ll be able to fill any time soon.

They sleep there, one top of the other, agreeing to wake up as soon as the sun is up the next morning to walk the rest of the way there.

If they find nothing when they get to the CDC, Niall thinks, they might as well be dead.

 

-

 

Finding the CDC is a relief and a scare at once.

Relief, to see the big and imposing building untouched. Wide security doors closed. No windows broken. A scare, because when they start to bang on the door, calling out to whoever’s inside, they get no response.

Liam catches a small camera in the corner of the one the doors following their movements and he knows someone’s watching them inside. With a flare of hope that threatens to swallow them whole, they start yelling, kicking on the doors and banging on the thick, bulletproof windows.

The noise attracts walkers, of course it does. And about 30 undead corpses are walking towards them in the blink of an eye. They are slow as they’ve always been, but if they get close enough to cage them in between the doors there’s no way out of this one.

It all goes to hell when they small red dot blinking on the camera goes out and instead of following their frantic movements, it stops moving at all.

“You can’t!” Harry yells from beside Niall, running to one of the metal doors and throwing his entire body against it, “You can’t do this! You can’t let us out here, we have nothing! We have three bullets total, a knife that probably can’t even cut through butter at this point, we have no food. You can’t let us die out here!”

“Haz.” Niall cries out, trying to stop him from hitting himself against the unforgiving metal.

“No! No, they have no right. They are safe in there, they have a roof and probably have food and water, they can’t just leave us out here to die. There has to be some humanity left in this world!”

“Harry we’re nothing to them.” Louis says, voice shaky. He takes a look at the walkers getting closer to them and shakes his head. “If we want to survive we have to run now, they get any closer and we’re trapped.”

“Survive?” Harry cries, “Survive how? Where? The world has gone to shit.” Harry says, fight gone from his voice, “There’s nothing left for us out here, if we stay out for another night we won’t make it to see next week. We have nothing, we are nothing.”

It’s in that moment that the camera is on again, and a bright light blinds them for a second before a screeching sound of metal against metal makes them all cringe.

The gates are opening, Zayn whispers, covering his eyes from the imposing light.

“Run in!” a frantic voice coming from the speakers booms out. “Once this gates close they won’t open again. If you cause any trouble you’re dead. Just follow the hallway until you find the main room, I’ll meet you there.”

It’s the last shot they have.

 

-

 

A man that seems to be around his 40’s, dressed in a mismatched pair of pyjamas greets them at the end of what seemed to be an endless hallway. He has a bottle of vodka grasped in one of his hands, in the other he has a remote. Instead of saying anything, he points with it to one of the wall-wide screens where they see the 30 or so walkers are already pressed against the gates. Just when they were standing a couple minutes ago. None of them can hide the shiver that goes down their spines.

“Welcome to the London headquarters of the CDC.” The man slurs. Opening his arms wide enough that some of the vodka spills down the sleeve of his shirt. “Oh, I’d offer you lads a tour, but Sonia, our tour manager passed away months ago.”

Niall flinches at that. “Who the fuck are you?” He can’t stop the heavy coat of anger that flows out with his voice.

“None other than the kind man who let you in instead of watching you and your friends being the monster’s dinner.” He says with a manic smile, and Niall takes so many steps back he ends up stepping into Harry’s toes and doesn’t stop until Harry wraps his arms around him in a protective, almost defensive stance.

“I’m Liam, this is Louis, Zayn, Harry and Niall.” H starts, pointing to each of them as he introduces them. “I’m sorry, but, just-” He shakes his head, runs his hands through his hair and starts again. “Almost two weeks ago we heard something on the radio.” The man’s eyes open at that, but Liam continues, “It was an emergency signal, telling people it was safe to come here, it’s why we decided to come over. Is it only you in here?”

“My name’s Ian, Doctor Ian Higgins.” The man says, giving Liam a long look before turning to the rest of them, “There’s enough food for all the six of us. There’s warm water for all of you to please shower and we have ten rooms with two beds each. Fresh and clean sheets and all, just continue down the hallway. Go on. I’ve just started on my drink of the day when you guys showed up. I’d like to continue on it tonight and explain the gist of it tomorrow.” He explains, “Feel at home. Any and all questions I’ll address them tomorrow.”

He turns around and sits in a big chair facing a computer screen. Bottle of vodka still in his hands and starts typing, fingers tapping harshly at the keyboard.

“Are we the only ones here?” Louis asks.

“Yes.” Ian answers. “No more questions till tomorrow. Go shower, all of you stink.”

The follow the rest of the hall, lights turning on as they keep walking. They reach the end of the hallway to find the doors of each bedroom wide open. Two single beds, a sofa and a TV visible from where they are standing. The hall leads to three bathrooms, each with a shower and a tub.

“Isn’t all of this giving you a really weird feeling?” Zayn asks. Taking a look into one of the rooms. “There’s electricity, water, warm water. There are TV’s with a stack of video games and movies beside them, there’s everything we’ve needed in the last eight months. Why does it feel so wrong instead of feeling like we’re finally safe?”

“The dude gives a bad vibe already,” Harry says, taking his bag and putting it on top of one of the beds before sitting down. It’s so soft the urge to lie down and nap it’s too overwhelming, and he grabs Niall by the hips before lying all the way down, Niall giggling softly on top of him.

“I don’t feel safe either.” Louis speaks from the room beside theirs. “I don’t know how long this is going to last, or if that guy plans on killing us in the middle of the night, but right now I want a bath and there’s a tub with warm water right fucking there, so, I don’t know about you, but I’m enjoying this for as long as we have it.”

“We can interrogate the man tomorrow. For now, I think we deserve rest, a bath, food and sleep. And a good shave.” He says with a smile, patting at the thick beard he’s been growing for the past two months.

When the three of them leave towards the bathroom, Niall turns in Harry’s arms so he’s straddling Harry’s hips, pinning him down to the bed before kissing him, it’s desperate and quick and it turns dirty and wet far too soon. They don’t even realize how long has passed until someone clearing his throat and the sound of snickering by the door makes them finally break the kiss.

“The bathrooms are empty now, for you lovebirds. We’ll be having something to eat while you finish your business. Don’t take too long.” Louis says before he leaves the room, leaving only a freshly shaven Liam and a smiling Zayn still laughing teasingly at them, “With the way you two are going at it I don’t think you’re gonna last long,” Liam says before laughing and running away in Louis’ direction, Zayn snorts, rolls his eyes fondly and follows them.

When they are finally alone, Harry grabs Niall’s ass, sitting up and then standing so swiftly it leaves Niall dizzy. “Think I’ll have something to eat too,” he whispers against Niall’s skin and Niall can only let out a breathy laugh as Harry squeezes his bum and all but runs all the way to the bathrooms.

 

After they’re back in their room, after eating proper food instead of just tasteless canned food and warm unclean water, Harry finally asks, “How are you feeling, Ni?”

Niall takes a while to reply. Mixed feelings making his stomach churn uncomfortably. “I’m feeling alright, I think.” He says quietly, trying to not wake the others who are sleeping in the room next to theirs, the three of them in the same bed. “We’ll get some answers tomorrow, but for now, I’m glad I have you four by my side.”

“We’ll always be there Ni. Whatever happens tomorrow, we’ll always, always be together,”

Niall falls asleep easily enough, the heat of Harry’s arms and the smell of his hair lulling him to sleep.

 

-

 

The next morning, after another shower and sandwiches and pancakes for breakfast, Ian shows up, looking far more awake and human than the night before, and tells them there’s a tape he needs to show them. So they follow him into the big room with two screens as wide and tall as a two storey building and wait silently until the tape starts playing.

 _“Test-Subject number nineteen. Female. 36 years old. According to the blood tests there’s no trace of antibodies against virus 9-85.”_ A voice they recognize as Ian’s says from behind the camera. _“You wanna say something to the camera, babe?”_ He asks, and the woman lying on the bed in front of him laughs.

_“You’re a dork. Get to your job, doctor Higgins.”_

Ian laughs again off-camera before he places it on what seems to be a table and his face appears on the shot. _“We injected the cure test number seven of the year after exposure to the virus 9-85 a week prior. There’s been no signs of infection but there’s no immune response against the virus neither. The plasma levels of virus 9-85 are still raising. No other changes to report.”_

The recording cuts to another scene, in a different lab. It shows Ian with deep and dark bags under his eyes and the woman from the last recording lies on a bed, pale and shivering. _“Test-Subject number nineteen. After three days of treatment with cure test number seven there’s no improvement. There are clear signs of infection in the area of exposure to virus 9-85 and a fever has been rising steadily along with plasma level of said virus. Any changes will be reported.”_

It cuts again to another shot, in the same lab but with a more ill looking woman and an exhausted Ian. The camera angle is crooked but it shows Ian’s shaky fingers trying to inject a clear yellowish liquid into the woman’s forearm. It cuts to a shot of Ian’s face, after the injection, same as last two. _“Cure test number ten has been injected to Test-Subject number nineteen. It’s the last cure test we got to develop before the virus 9-85 spread all around the world. Today is June 10th, the world- the world started to end a week ago. We lost contact with North America and Australia’s headquarters. There’s not any more cures developed enough to try and TS-19 is the last subject we have for research and testing. If this cure fails, there’s nothing else we’ll be able to do.”_

“What is this?” Louis interrupts before the next cut starts and Ian pauses it with a frown on his face. “What are you showing us?”

“The last couple of tapes I got before we lost everything.” Ian says tiredly, “If you want answers, in the next two you’ll get them,” He presses play before Louis can say anything else.

 _“TS-19. June 12th. The last test-subject has passed away two minutes ago. Exposure to virus 9-85 was on February 15th. Constant treatment with test cures 1 to 10, all through the course of the disease there was no immune response nor antibodies responding to the virus. Plasma levels were constant with test cures 3 and 4 but state of the subject went from bad to worse after test cure 5 was started.” The Ian on camera takes a shuddering breath before the video cuts. It starts again with Ian in tears. He’s tying up the woman to the bed in the same lab from 2 videos ago. Then he starts talking. “TS-19 turned one hour and four minutes after death. Brain activity died completely after the virus reached the brain stem. Which afterwards reanimated the mere basic functions. Areas of the brain responsible of walking, vocalization and eating are active. The subject is able to walk if it were to be untied. Able to make sounds but not turn them into words, and able to eat and feel hunger no matter the meal, no matter how big. Areas of the brain responsible of memory, rational thoughts, speaking and feeling are dead and the tissues inactive are necrotic. Trying any of the aforementioned cures is useless after the virus takes over the brain.”_ When Ian stops talking on the recording it cuts to a different angle where only a wall is visible. They are thankful for it when they hear a pained sigh, a growl and then a gunshot.

 “My wife offered to be a test subject when the research for this virus started.” Ian explains. “At that point, we thought a cure was possible. And we thought that until the first attacks started in Italy and none of the possible cures worked with recently bitten people, not with deceased ones.

“That’s when 90% of the staff working here gave up and the activities were stopped. Here and in America and Australia. Doctors left to be with their families while others simply killed themselves before the virus could touch them.”

“You didn’t give up, though. Was it because of your wife?” Harry asks.

“The fucking doctors who said this’d turn out to be not any riskier than any other virus got my wife involved in it, got her sick, got her killed. I wouldn’t rest until I found the cure.”

“And did you?” Niall inquires quietly.

“I almost did.” Ian explains. “The last video is very short and to the point.” He presses play again and the recording starts with Ian and a younger woman sitting on one of the lab’s beds. “ _Test-Subject number one. Woman of 25 years old found in a randomized study done in seventeen different countries. She was found positive for virus 9-85 with no symptoms to prove so. She’s been hospitalized since December, when she was exposed to the virus and an immune reaction was shown in the tests. Her immune system fights the virus and kills it in about two to three days, depending on the patient’s state. It took her one day to regain consciousness after contact with the virus. Tests afterwards show high levels of antibodies 9-85, which go down after a week. A month after that she is exposed again, the level of antibodies goes up again. Takes her half a day to regain consciousness. After taking a blood sample and trying to make a test cure, test cure number 3 and number 4 are the most successful, after the attacks start, patient signs the papers to an early leave and claims she needs to go back home. The reports of the test cures following number 4 fail.”_

“She was bitten and she survived?”

“She did.” Ian replies.

“What happened afterwards? What happened with cure 3 and 4?” Harry asks frantically, taking Niall’s hands in his.

“This building took a huge attack shortly after I tested number 4 on my wife. It showed improvement, but it didn’t kill the virus entirely. When I was about to try a modification of it, the government realized I had continued research without any sort of permission and that I was keeping my wife alive despite her being considered a risk. They blew up the entire back wing of this building. That’s when I lost more people. It took me two months to be able to make this place safe again, but the back wing was the research wing, the one that had all the labs and all the tubes due for testing. I lost everything that day.”

“What? So there’s- there’s nothing? You showed us all of that just to tell us that it’s gone?” Louis demands angrily, standing from where he was sitting in the floor and stepping into Ian’s space. “There has to be something else to do. Why did you stay here when everybody else left? Are you hiding something?!”

“Louis!” Liam warns with a shout. It’s enough for Louis to let go of Ian and sit back down.

“Where else was I supposed to go? I’ve worked here since I was an intern 30 years ago. My wife worked here too, we never had kids, we just had each other. Staying was a better chance than leaving. And after she died, there was nothing else to do but waiting for death.”

“Then why are you still here? You have food and clean water and you’re protected from all the walkers outside. If you wanted to--” Harry sighs, trying to ask in the best way possible, “if you’re waiting for death why stay in the safest place London has right now?”

“This entire building has its own source of energy and water. It’s all thanks to a diesel tank that was half empty after the attack happened. It’s surprise it lasted this long.”

“You’re not making any sense!” Niall intervenes, “what happens when the tank is empty?”

“The CDC holds a huge amount of unimaginably dangerous diseases. When there’s no power enough no guarantee that everything is safely closed with no risk of contaminating the air as it should be, it self-destructs. As a safety measure.”

“Self-destructs?” Liam asks, hands closed into fists and shaking harshly at his sides. “You’re saying this entire place can blow up any second now to save the world of something that has already destructed it?”

“Auto destruction sounds a bit dramatic. This is just a decontamination procedure. What happens is that when there’s not enough energy to keep this place running anymore, all the air going through the vents, the oxygen we’re breathing right now becomes flammable. The high temperature of the explosion kills every virus. It’s fast and painless.”

“When is that supposed to happen, is there a way to know?” Niall asks.

Ian clicks away at his computer for a minute before a clock counting down shows up both on the computer and on the huge screens.

_4: 09: 23_

“This is going to blow up in four hours?”

“You couldn’t have told us this yesterday when we arrived, clearly looking for a way to survive. to stay alive, when did we gave the idea that we wanted to die?” Louis asks, voice harsh and unforgiving.

“Lou,” Niall starts, his voice is almost a whisper, but the desperation in it makes all of them stop in the tracks to look at him. “What if this is it?” He continues. “We came here looking for a way out. Looking for answers that could help make any sense of everything that has happened in the last months. And we got them.”

“Are you suggesting we stay, Nialler?” Zayn asks beside him, he’s been quiet through the entire videos and explanations, looking deep in thought, and now that Niall proposes the idea, it seems like a bit of light comes back to his eyes. “Because I was about to say I’m staying.”

“You’re fucking what?!” Liam yells. “After everything we’ve been through you’re just gonna give up now?!”

“Liam, just hear them out.” Harry begs, he still has Niall’s hands in his grasps, and it’s gotten a bit sweaty and too warm, but he concentrates on the support and strength having Harry close is giving him

“It’s not giving up.” Zayn says. “Not the way I see it.” he shakes his head before he stands up and grabs Louis and Liam’s hands. “The way I see it, this is the way out we deserve.” He grabs Louis’ hand tighter when Louis blanches and tries to step away. “Life is doing some weird shit right now. This entire year has been a bunch of weird shit after another. Almost all of it has been shitty. But finding you guys, in the way we found each other, that was one of the craziest things and the one I’m most thankful for right now.

“We were out there for months. We learned to survive but we forgot how to _live_. Every day was spent counting cans of food, it was sleeping with one eye open, was growing used to fear, was feeling the fear like a second skin. We might have gotten good at defending ourselves. But what else is there in the world right now that will let us live, properly live. Tell me there’s somewhere we can go where we can be safe, where we can wake up every day without it just being another day we didn’t die. Tell me there’s something out there that isn’t pain and fear and destruction, and we’ll get out of here and fight for it.”

Louis closes his eyes tightly when his eyes fill with tears. They get stuck to his eyelashes when he opens them again, and looks up at Zayn shaking his head.

“The way I see it,” Zayn continues, “If we stay we die. Yeah, and dying out of choice seems like a ridiculous idea after you’ve tried to avoid it, after you fought with your life to keep you and all of us alive. But I very much prefer that. I prefer staying here, grabbing a beer, eat a bowl full of cocoa puffs with you as we play videogames and then die with you four by my side, knowing it’s not causing any of you any pain, knowing after one of us dies one of the others is not gonna have to live with the pain and the grief of loss.”

Both of them are openly crying when Zayn finishes and Louis all but collapses into him when he’s done. Niall is quick to join in to hug and after him goes Harry and right behind goes Liam. They are a mess of limbs and pointy elbows against ribs. But it’s the only safe place Niall knows. The only home they have left. And he’s never letting go.

 

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Louis asks after he’s calmed down, he hasn’t let go of Zayn’s hand, but he looks more present, more solid and stable. “Nialler, what if they can make a cure out of you? You are like the girl of the second video. Maybe there’s a chance.”

“No vaccination nor cure for any disease was done in less than four hours, kid.” Ian says before he turns to look at Niall. “Before you ask, yes, there’s a big chance you could have been a huge piece in the puzzle that is making a cure or a treatment for a disease. But it could have only been possible with the right equipment to test and do enough research on your antibodies. We don’t have not the equipment, nor the personal. I’d go as far as to say we soon enough won’t have any people to save anymore.” Ian says with a frown on his face, the sadness and disappointed in his eyes are clear and Niall can tell he’s being genuine. “I’m sorry I can’t give you guys more hope, I’m sorry you came here thinking you’d find enough people or supplies or whatever enough to get the world back to its feet, but I have nothing else to say and nothing else to offer.”

With that he stands from his chair and shuts down the computer, he sends a salute to all of them before puts a set of headphones and lies down on a battered sofa he has against a wall. Niall supposes he has always slept there, seeing as the rooms they saw last night were untouched.

He turns to look at the countdown on the big screen. Then turns to look back at his boys.

_3: 51: 12_

“If you guys want to leave; we can try to-”

“No, Nialler.” Liam smiles softly at him. “I’d insist, if I knew there was a way to keep each other safe, not only alive, but properly safe. I’d say we go out to have another try. But that’d mean living in fear of losing any of you, and I’ve already seen three close friends, almost family, die because of what’s out there. If I can keep you guys away from all the danger we’ve lived in for almost a year, I will.”

“I love you lads,” Niall says, lip wobbling as he tries to smile.

“We love you back, Nialler. So much.”

 

-

 

As Zayn promises, he goes back to the rooms and plays video games with Louis until Louis refuses to play anymore because he keeps on losing. Harry and Niall find snacks for all of them, and grab a couple of beers along with everything else.

They are relaxed and relieved after they finish their beers, which were cold for the first time in months, and the banter continues even through the sound of Toy Story Liam insisted on watching.

By the time the countdown is down to half an hour, they are all cuddled in one of the beds, clean after a warm bath, buzzing with couple of beers they had, and peacefully lying on each other’s bodies. Liam is the backbone of the cuddle, with Louis and Zayn draped over him, one at each side, Harry has his head lying on Liam’s thigh and Niall is completely on top of Harry, with Zayn’s hand reaching over the play with his hair.

Death is imminent from the day you’re born. It’s a risk that it’s always there, every day. But before it was something that barely ever crossed his mind, because he was too busy living to think about doing anything other than that. Now, though, death is something inevitable that doesn’t let you pass a day without making you think maybe this is the last one, in this world there’s only surviving. There’s only stress, and hunger and pain. Suffering, destruction, grief for losing the very few you had left. To describe the world how it is now, Niall would have to use every word he’d associate with death and sadness. They had their good times, because they had each other, and Niall is so thankful to have them all here, instead of being outside, seemingly alive, but touching death with their fingertips.

They are unaware of the time as they start recalling all the rendezvous they had together, they are completely unaware of the fact that the last five minutes start tickling by. They don’t need anything else other than each other, and for once since the world went to hell, the idea of dying doesn’t seem scary, doesn’t seem like a what if, doesn’t seem like despair. It feels like a way out, the only one they have. And after their bellies hurt from laughing so hard, they close their eyes, squeezing tightly as the seconds go by. They mutter a last _thank you_ , a last _I love you_.

They remember, they laugh, they tear up and breathe. They live. They _are_.

Until they aren’t anymore.

 

**Author's Note:**

> please don't kill me.
> 
> you can go yell at me on [tumblr](jamesniall.tumblr.com) and/or [twitter.](twitter.com/jamesnialls) i'm always ready for every comment and constructive criticism you want to send me, i receive them with open arms.
> 
> thank you so so soooo much for reading, for leaving kudos or a comment. everything is deeply appreciated and i love you guys very much for it <3 see you next time!


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